First Impressions Are Everything
by AnimeAddikt93
Summary: Different ways how Misaki and Usagi could've met and how it will differently change their feelings.
1. Coffee Beans And Sugar Part 2

**Author's Note: Glad you guys like it so far. Thanks for the reviews. I'll try to keep writing as soon as I can manage it so a couple updates a week I guess. **

All I knew about Usagi was that he was my brother's friend. He seemed just as miserable at Nii-chan's wedding so we talked a bit. I liked him. He wasn't like other people not just because of his bold personality, but his looks too. His hair was almost a gray color, but not because he was old. He was only 28. It was just a dirty blonde color to the point where it looked that way. He barely smiled. He had nice eyes that always seemed serious.

He was nice though. Nii-chan liked that I talked to Usagi every day. He counted on me to make sure he was getting enough sleep and human interaction. I guess Usagi was shy despite his appearance. He'd been nothing but open with me. I'd been working a straight 8 hours so far with minimal breaks. He'd been here a couple hours writing. I'd just walk by and fill his coffee whenever it was low. He'd gone through almost two pots already.

Once he started typing he didn't look up. His fingers busily clacked on the keyboard. Eventually his would drink a bunch of coffee and keep going. Overall he looked dead. Finally he closed his laptop and stretched. "Did you finish?" I yawned.

"Yeah. It's all done. I might not be able to sleep after all that coffee though." I sat across the table from Usagi.

"You never order any cake or anything."

"I don't like it. I don't like sweet things. That's why I put nothing in my coffee." I could feel the frown on my face.

"How can you not like cake?" I loved working here just for all the desserts I got to bring home. I never got tired of any of them. "Some of them can be too sweet that's understandable, I guess. I could make you a cake that wasn't that sweet though. It's uses carrots...really light on sugar...Sorry I'm talking too much."

"No I'd like if you made me something. Takahiro said you liked to cook."

"That'd be great. You should get home and get some sleep though. I'm sure you'll fall asleep in no time despite the coffee."

I checked out and watched Usagi drive away before beginning my walk home. The sun was just rising, and usually I'd stop and look. I was confused with my own feelings though and the uphill climb was what I chose to focus my energy on so my mind wouldn't wonder. I'd never liked anyone at all. I felt a weird pull to Usagi...I wasn't sure if I really wanted to be his friend or something else.

I quietly made my way to my room and collapsed on the bed. Manami and Nii-chan would be up soon. Closing my eyes I could only find myself thinking of the conversation I had with Usagi. I could never love anyone who didn't like sweets. I could never fall in love with a guy. Never.

It seemed I was only asleep for five minutes when I heard Manami and Nii-chan up. They didn't even know what common courtesy was. I always heard tripping, laughing, hushing, and the worst was the dishes clattering together. That was a sound from hell. I turned over trying to block out the sound with no success like usual.

I got up and walked to the kitchen grabbing some orange juice on my way to the table. "Sorry Misaki! Did we wake you up?" Nii-chan. Dumb as ever.

"No it wasn't you tripping out of bed or Manami laughing. It wasn't even the dishes banging together and making the worst sound I've ever heard in my entire life. I just woke up on my own." I said it before I realized. I was so tired and grumpy I could barely life my head, but I could go to sleep. Usually I would just lie and tell them I got up because I smelled food or something. Immediately I felt guilty. "Sorry. I'm just tired. I didn't mean to snap at you guys or anything."

"It's no problem Misaki. We know how much you work and you always help out around the house." Manami was pregnant. Nii-chan never wanted her to do anything. She was only a couple months so she still went to work, but he made her rest whenever she was home.

"I'm really sorry. I've just been having trouble sleeping and I barely get enough as it is." I nibbled on the some eggs when Manami pushed a plate towards me. I needed to get my priorities in order.


	2. Coffee Beans And Sugar Part 3

**Author's Note: Thanks for reviews and thoughts. It literally took me three days to write that between everything else I was doing and it was still kinda short. With some more extra time I hope to write a bit more today. I like writing in the view of Usagi-san. **

Ever since I talked to Misaki it'd been hard to put him out of my mind. I thought he was cute before, but after his rambling about desserts with an adorable face it was all I could think of. My BL novels had been suffering since Takahiro got married, but today...I got a whole bunch of inspiration. It helped that it was raining because I wrote best then.

I'd just finished the book that took me forever and Aikawa loved it. I thought it was the most random thing ever, but now I found my inspiration again. A knock at the door interupted my thoughts. It was probably Aikawa being obnoxious again. Walking to the door I found a saoking wet Misaki standing there with a big pot of what smelled like Takahiro's beef stew.

"Sorry I got lost on my way here." With his clothes that wet I could see how skinny he was. His wet clothes clung to his skin and he was shaking a little bit. I stepped back to let him inside. He set the pot down on a table and a puddle started forming under him.

"The bathroom is upstairs. Dry and you can borrow some of my clothes in the next room."

"Thanks a lot." He slowly walked his way upstairs. Takahiro told me he was clumsy. I put on a cup of coffee and waited impatiently for Misaki to come back downstairs. I was curious about how he would look in clothes way to big for him...probably adorable. I looked up and barely had enough time to hide my laughter by turning and pouring coffee.

He looked like he was three years old trying on his dad's clothes. I imagine Misaki would do that sort of thing when he was little. I put a cup of coffee on the table for him and he sipped it quietly. "Nii-chan thought you might want something to eat after finishing all that writing."

"Well thank him for me. I'll drive you home after this." Misaki nodded and got up to get my car keys. This was going to be to awkward. The car ride was silent. Misaki clutched his wet clothes to his chest and stared straight ahead.

"Thanks for driving me."

"No problem."

"Usagi..."

"Yeah." Just as I turned Misaki's lips touched mine. Then he hopped out of the car and ran inside. No way that just happened. For once I was left there touching my lips.


	3. Coffee Beans and Sugar Part 4

**Author's Note: I excited you guys right! Hahaha that sounds wrong but in an appropriate sense because Junjou is so dirty anyway. Thanks for the reviews. **

I can't believe I just kissed another guy. Let alone my brother's best friend! My idiot brother who thought Usagi was the manliest thing on earth! Tonight something in me screamed there was no way that he liked girls. I had no clue why. I was so glad I was not home alone because I was crouched on the floor touching my lips like an idiot. It was my fault I did all this in the first place. I didn't have to go and kiss him.

I rummaged through the fridge until I pulled out a beer. I'd only drunk a couple times before. I knew that I couldn't hold anything at all. I was also calmed down enough to think. I paced while I sipped my beer. I was a bit jumpy. I heard knocking on the door and walked over. It was Usagi.

I opened the door slowly. "Hi. Sorry about that." I was just being an idiot. Nii-chan told me about Usagi's beautiful editor and how he always kept up with his body. He was single and just looking for some other girl. I was being an idiot. I felt even dumber standing in his giant clothes. "Oh...come in."

Usagi stepped in. "You're alone." I nodded but didn't say anything.

"I'll make us some tea." I'd never kissed anyone. I don't think family counts or that awkward kindergarten dare. You know when girls have cooties and you aren't brave unless you kiss one.

Usagi grabbed my arm and turned me around before kissing me. I knew what I was doing was wrong. It wasn't because I was gay or anything. This was my brother's best friend. I don't think this sort of thing would be acceptable if Usagi was a girl. And Usagi was much older than me. I had no experience in any relationship let alone with a 28 year old famous author. The fact that we were in my brother's house also made my guilt worse.

"We can't. I know I started it...I'm sorry. You're Nii-chan's friend..." I backed away. Usagi looked like he was thinking about something. I was trying to turn the doorknob to my room, but with my hand behind my back it was almost impossible to do without being noticed.

"I guess you're right...but I don't really care." Crap. Turn stupid doorknob. I fell into my room and landed on the bed. It still hurt though. I rubbed my head. I'd realized too late what Nii-chan meant by strong personality. Usagi just took this as an opportunity to harass me. I don't think it was harassing if you didn't really fight someone off.

I'd never felt sparks with someone before, but I knew these were bombs. I liked Usagi's lips and his weight on top of me. His hands were cold, but his lips were warm and he was welcoming. His hair was soft and he smelled like...well I didn't know what it was.

The thing was there was no question that I would've done anything right at that moment until I heard the door open. I was about to panic, but when you have someone with you who can lie convincingly there's no need. Usagi fixed his clothes and made sure I didn't look like I just went to a rave in a matter of seconds. He talked to Takahiro like it was natural to be there and said he just drove me home.

I was feeling guilty. I never dealt with that too well in the past. I was surprised I wasn't given away though. My heart was pounding and I knew I was blushing.


	4. Coffee Beans and Sugar Part 5

**Author's Note: I am liking this story and the responses I get. Many thanks to everyone who reviews. I wish Usagi was called Usa-chan like that pink bunny on Ouran...**

It was just like Takahiro to interrupt me when I had finally found what I'd been seeking forever. My love for Takahiro seemed like a silly crush now. I'd never had someone put the first move on me. I was impressed. And no matter how many times I tried to deny what I really felt for Misaki it was obvious. I was already falling for him. I swore I'd never like anyone else after Takahiro-that was silly of me.

When these things happen it seems like the end of the world though. Even for a strong willed person like me. My moping had lasted months. My writing and my health suffered. After going to that coffee shop things changed. I kept seeing Misaki day after day. At first I didn't care. Then his smile got to me and his manners and how he kept trying to make me eat cake.

At first I thought he was annoying. I wondered why he kept bothering me. Girls that worked there would whisper to him to not bother with me. They told him I wasn't interested in anyone. At the time it was true. He would keep talking to me though. I guess he didn't care.

I never would've thought that Misaki liked me that way though. He seemed a little feminine in his appearance, but he got along well with the girls he worked with. Some of them liked him-not that he could tell. They were always throwing themselves at him because he was cute and nice which was hard to come by. And that's why I was shocked when he kissed and ran away.

I had to go to a meeting now, but I knew I couldn't keep this off my mind. It was just a briefing with Aikawa so I guess I could let my mind drift. All she did was babble anyway. I entered Aikawa's little apartment and sat in the only free chair. Documents and manuscripts were everywhere. The living room was always a complete mess because it was where she worked the most.

"I'm going to change the story line of the BL novel." Once she came back with tea she sat down.

"Why it was going so good?"

"I suddenly have new inspiration."

"What happened?" She just seemed curious. She wasn't acting like an idiot so what was the point in not telling her? I guess you need someone you can tell everything to anyway...

"Do you know the only waiter at that coffee shop where we have coffee sometimes?" She was thinking.

"Yeah! The really cute one with the little clips in his hair who was studying when we came in. He brought over our coffee." I always find some reason to be glad that Aikawa isn't stupid and has a pretty good memory.

"Well I was talking with him tonight. He's Takahiro's brother." Aikawa knew all about Takahiro.

"Him? He didn't look anything like Takahiro. He was more like an adorable puppy than a smart looking businessman type."

"Well his name is Misaki. So anyway he came over with some beef stew from Takahiro earlier. I guess he walked in the rain. So I let him borrow some of my drive home was normal until when I was parked in front of the house...he kissed me and ran inside." Her jaw was on the floor.

"No way. He didn't."

"He did."

"So did you kiss him back?" I'd never even thought of that. I guess I didn't get to because he ran away so fast.

"Well not as first. He ran away so fast. So I went and knocked on the door then I kissed him back. I'm not sure why I did it. Lately I've been kind of fascinated with him. I made it clear I didn't want him around me and he just kept coming back." I was talking more to myself now. "Either way this gives me a new idea for the novel."

"You should ask him on a date. It seems like you'd come up with even more ideas." Aikawa was leaning creepily close to me. But I would like to go out with Misaki somewhere. Some place we couldn't be interrupted.


	5. Coffee Beans and Sugar Part 6

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews everyone. This is one long long chapter to wrap this up!**

I was sitting in the park with Usagi. He asked me on a date. I thought the whole situation was awkward and tried to get out of it. I should've known something bad would happen if I did that. He marched right into the coffee shop and told my boss he was taking me out to have some fun. My boss who tries to push days off on me told me to go. Now here I was in this weird situation.

I'd never been to a picnic at night. It was better than one in the day though. I just didn't know what to say. I'm the one who started everything and I'd just seem like a jerk if I wanted to take everything back. I like him and all...but I didn't realize I didn't know Usagi well and he was my brother's best friend. I sucked at lying. I could barely keep secrets.

"I'm sorry Usagi-san. I was wrong. I can't handle something like this. Just forget anything happened."

"You expect me to just forget? Fine. It won't be long now. You'll come looking for me." He was mad. He got up and left me there. I packed up all the food he'd brought. Nii-chan would eat it. He ate everything. I packed everything into the fridge when I got home. I was alone again.

Lying in my bed all I could think about was the passed couple days. My heart hurt just thinking about it. I told Usagi to forget, but what about me? How could I forget? I wouldn't be able to. _It won't be long now._ For hours I tried to sleep. I heard everyone come in and go to sleep, but I was still awake. Finally I got to sleep but all I could dream about was Usagi.

Breakfast was the same as usual until Nii-chan decided he wanted to be my matchmaker. "Misaki my friend's sister is around your age. You should go out together. One time isn't bad, right? You don't have much of a social life."

"I don't want one." I kept my eyes on my plate. I was too shocked to look up. Usagi was on the couch reading a newspaper. He'd been here when I got up. I could feel him staring at me. "I already have enough going on."

"Oh come on Misaki. All you do is work and-" My loud sigh cut him off.

"Nii-chan if I wanted a girlfriend I would've been looking and already found one by now. I don't want a girlfriend."

"I've never met a guy who doesn't want some romance in their life!" Manami was always dramatic. She should be on one of those daytime dramas.

"I don't want a girlfriend because I'm not attracted to girls." It was completely silent after I said that. I just kept eating like I hadn't said anything at all.

"How long have you known this?" Nii-chan was quiet now.

"A couple months. It's not a big deal." It was though. Everyone in the room knew it. "Please stop trying to set me up with people. I already like someone...so I'm not going to pick anyone else. Today I have off so I'm going to do some shopping." I walked out of there as fast as I could. I felt better for saying it out loud, but horrible because I felt like Nii-chan was disappointed in me.

I got halfway down the street before Usagi's car stopped next to me. I got in right away. For a long time we sat there not saying anything. "Was Nii-chan mad at me?"

"He was a little. He was furious when I told him that you liked me and I liked you. I've never seen him that mad. You can stay with me tonight."

"Let's go faraway. Even if it's just for a while."

Usagi drove fast. I had no clue where we were going, but anywhere was better than here right now. Staring down at Usagi's hand gripping the stick shift I could see his knuckles were white. I put my hand over his and kept it there throughout the whole drive. I never thought I'd be running away-temporarily-because I was with another guy. I'd never looked at anyone romantically before. It was something so foreign.

It was night when we reached a hotel. After checking in I took a long shower. I wasn't sure what else I could do. My stomach felt like it was eating itself. My heart was beating so hard I thought I was going to pass out. I sat down with my knees tucked in and finally let the tears out. I figured if I ever had to tell Nii-chan something he'd be accepting of it. It would be hard to trust him-or anyone else again. I felt so alone now.

Finally Usagi came to check on me. I probably looked a mess. I'd held myself together for hours, but once we entered the hotel I had the urge to fall apart. I wasn't a quiet crier, or graceful at all. Usagi didn't say anything though. He just hugged me. He didn't ask if I was okay because that would be stupid. He didn't promise to make me feel better because nothing would. He understood. That's when I realized I made the right choice. My tears stopped, but I didn't let go of Usagi.

This was what I wanted. When mom and dad died I wanted to be held. Nii-chan walked around me carefully all these years like I was something that could be easily broken. All I needed was someone not to tell me everything would be okay and they'd always be there. All I wanted was someone to hold me while I cried. Not say or do anything else. No one seemed to understand that ever. Even when telling it to some of my friends from school they looked at me like I was an alien, so I never mentioned it again.

"Usagi I'm sorry...now you and Nii-chan can't be friends the way you used to." Usagi was mourning too. Nii-chan and Usagi wouldn't be close the way they were before. It would all be too awkward.

"You're right I guess. There's nothing I can do about it now. You came clean to Takahiro...I had to too." Usagi didn't seem like a fair person, but he probably was. He acted selfish and stubborn half the time, but maybe he was just lonely.

So for the second time I kissed Usagi on my own. This time I didn't run away. His kisses were strong and my made me feel like my heart might burst. So easily he could tell me that he loved me, but I couldn't say anything. I still couldn't believe I was here and that I loved a guy...that I loved anyone really. I expected my first time to be somewhere more romantic than a shower, but with Usagi everything seemed like it fell into place perfect.

I was always realizing things to late. I loved Usagi already. Too late I realized what I'd gotten myself into again. I'd never been this way with anyone. Whenever he touched me I just wanted to tackle him and kiss him forever. If you said something like this to a guy like Usagi you'd never see daylight again. He'd be happy to sit there and kiss someone he loved forever. His determination to make things work was probably the most attractive thing about him. I could never say these things to him though. At least not until I was older.

So once we made it to the bed I wanted to say these things. I already couldn't take what was happening. I decided that it wasn't wise to say anything else or I'd never escape this room. For some reason I was so happy I started crying.

"What's wrong?" Looking up at Usagi I just started crying again. I punched him and yelled at him with barely any force.

"You idiot! Stupid Usagi! Jerk! How could you make me like this..." He only smiled. Then he laughed. It was probably the best thing I'd heard in a while but I wouldn't tell him that.

"You think that you're the only one? If you think this is bad you just wait." I always said something to get me in deeper. I was happy though. I was happy he'd wanted me and not anyone else. I knew that he loved Nii-chan before. I think I was the only one who could tell. I wouldn't bring that up now though. No one would be so miserable at a wedding unless they loved the person who was getting married. Unless they knew they could never be with that person. I'd figured it out when I first met him. Now he loved me. I was happy.

Because when I figured out Usagi loved Nii-chan...I was so jealous. He always had someone to take care of him whether he wanted them there or not. He had a wife now, but he also had Usagi. And I was jealous. So the other miserable person at that wedding was me. I felt sorry for myself all night. I had no one I could call a true friend. I didn't know what I wanted to do in life. I didn't love anyone the way Nii-chan loved Manami and I was mad. Now I had that. It came at a price though. It's something I didn't understand before.

So now the only sounds I made now where the ones Usagi forced out of me. No one had ever wanted me this way or touched me the way he did. He wasn't shy about it. He said whatever he wanted. It pissed me off and made me happy at the same time which confused me even more. I'd never been so tired before though. Now I could finally sleep with nothing troubling me. I didn't have to lie and I loved someone who loved me.

I woke up at home in my room. Usagi must've brought me back. He left a teddy bear though. It was enormous. I looked over on the side table and found a note. _Misaki you've made me realize some things I've never thought about before. I returned you home so that you could talk to you brother. Things between you don't need to be strained because of me. Don't worry I'm not planning anything stupid. I know these past couple days have been going incredibly fast for you. I want to be together with you though. So I'm looking for somewhere we can live together. I left Suzuki-san in your care for now. If Takahiro doesn't agree to this...pack up your things anyway. The only way things heal is time. We don't need time away from each other though. We've proved to each other that it won't work to stay away from each other. I'll be back tonight. Be ready for me. -Usagi_

I read the note over and over again. I got up and started packing my things right away. _What am I doing? Just leaving like this._ I ignored the rational part of me. It hadn't been working to listen to the smart part of myself lately. I just need to do whatever my heart wanted even if it was stupid. If it didn't work out I'd worry about that at the time it happened.

After dragging everything to the front door Nii-chan woke up. He looked at everything and then me. "Where are you going?"

"I'm moving in with Usagi." I sat on the couch with Suzuki-san.

"Without even talking about this?"

"Nii-chan I didn't think I was seriously in love yesterday. I'd thought I only started Usagi-san lately, but it actually started the night of your wedding. I didn't realize it at first, but every time I was at work I'd be happy when he came in. On the days he didn't I'd be sad or disappointed. I didn't know it at the time. I know it now though. So even if you were happy with this whole situation I'd still be moving in with Usagi-san."

"I'll help you carry all your things. It's weird but I'm sure I'll feel better about all of this at some point. I just never would've imagined..."

After putting everything into Usagi's car I had an awkward goodbye with Nii-chan. And then we were off. To wherever Usagi had decided we would be staying. All this started over coffee at a wedding. Someone who liked everything bitter met someone who liked everything sweet and so they went together well. Like sugar and coffee.


	6. Girl's Night Out Part 1

**Author's Note: Hey everyone thanks for the reviews. I think you will enjoy the next story in the "how we met" series of things. From what I've planned after this story there should be four more. I think that's how far I can go with this without being redundant. Also I am going to start writing for the Loveless series! Loveless is a great manga with a cute anime to go along with it. It's shonen-ai so I want to put more life into Soubi and Ritsuka's relationship. I will start that soon. Thank you. **

I was having the day from hell. I hated autograph signings more than anything. If I got proposed to or asked on a date by someone who barely knew me again I'd flip. Aikawa's cheerful attitude made me want to punch people. These kinds of events always put me in a bad mood. I would go home and write something to vent out my frustrations. Maybe I would work out or something.

"Sensei I know something that will definitely cheer you up!" I looked over at Aikawa. She was barely paying attention to the road. Maybe we'd crash and I'd get irreversible brain damage. Then I would have no fans. Aikawa said the worst things with a cheerful tone. I thought trying it might cheer me up. It didn't.

"Aikawa I never like your ideas. We always end up lost somewhere. Take me home." I rolled down the window and lit a cigarette.

"No way! You will love this. There is this new restaurant where all the waiters and waitresses dress up. It's cosplay sometimes but tonight it's masquerade!" I knew there was something weird about Aikawa. Otaku. "Plus a really cute new kid works there. I mean he's probably in high school or something. I talk to him sometimes."

"You want me to go with you so you can hit on a high school student?" She was unbelievable.

"No! No! I didn't mean it like that. I mean maybe you'll think he is cute too. See the best things about us going places is that both of us think guys are good looking. And that way I can tell you without it getting all weird like it does with my guy friends. They get so mad or jealous." So she wanted a gay best friend. "He is adorable though. Big green eyes. They are beautiful."

"Let's get this over with."

The restaurant was crowded. When we walked in everyone was wearing masquerade masks and fancy outfits. Aikawa was looking around for the mystery guy she was talking about earlier. "Oh! There he is!" She shook me and pointed like I couldn't already see him. All I could make out was the green eyes she mentioned earlier. He smiled and waved when he saw Aikawa.

He walked us to our seats. "My name is Misaki and I'll be your server tonight. Nice to see you brought a friend Ai-chan." Ai-chan...? He was wearing a black suit and top hat. He had on a green mask and tie. Green feathers were coming out of his top hat. "What can I get you guys to drink?" He pulled a feather out of his hat. It was a pen.

"Alcohol. Make it strong." I turned away and looked down at the menu. Aikawa looked embarrassed but ordered some fruity drink. "Ai-chan? He's like 12 Aikawa."

"Let's just ask how old he is." She was looking over the menu now completely ignoring me. She must want people to think she has a boyfriend if she comes here so often that she has a nickname. Misaki. That name sounded familiar. Could it be Takahiro's brother? Maybe.

"So Misaki what year of high school are you in?" Aikawa wasn't sparing at all.

"High school? Oh! I'm not in high school. My second year of college actually." She looked at him over and over.

"Ah...thought Misaki sounded familiar. Takahiro's brother." He nodded.

"You must be Akihiko-san. Well the way Nii-chan described you I would think so. He said you were one of those pretty guys." Pretty? Me? Yeah right. "So you must be Aikawa's boyfriend, right?"

"No way." Aikawa said it fast and continued to sip her drink.

"Well that's good. You two wouldn't look good together." What did he mean by that? After taking our orders he left.

"He's cute. I can't really tell with the mask though. He's my friend Takahiro's little brother, but I've never seen him." Aikawa looked mad that I knew more about Misaki which wasn't really much. Takahiro would mention him once in a while. How he was applying for this college or working at this place. I never really listened. I wish I had. I was interested now.


	7. Girls Night Out Part 2

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews. I think that's it this time...yeah.**

Being a waiter was okay. Working at this place was fun, but creepy people who were devoted to being here certain nights freaked me out. Aikawa was nice. She always requested me as a waiter and bought me some cake. Here we were allowed to sit down and chat with customers. I don't know why they didn't call this place a host club or something. All the people that came here looking for some idiot dressed as Naruto to sit and cuddle up to.

Other than that it was one of the best jobs I ever had. At least until tonight. Usami Akihiko was the most unsatisfied customer I'd ever had in my life. I mean who orders scotch or whiskey at a fruity place like this? I thought that maybe when he realized I was his best friend's brother he'd stop having such an attitude. I guess I was wrong. He ordered a dish that included peppers only to tell me he didn't like them so get him something different.

He felt insulted when I asked him if he wanted dessert because "everyone knows he hates sweets" and when I sat down to talk to Aikawa he kept sighing very loudly. I'd never had an unsatisfied customer so I didn't know what to do. I was making my way back to the table now. He wanted a dessert, but nothing sweet. That was almost every dessert on the planet. Almost.

"We only have one dessert on our menu that's not really sweet. Most people don't like it though." He looked annoyed. "It's too spicy for most people. It's ice cream. Chocolate jalapeno. We only use jalapeno powders and such to make it and not the real thing. It's still kind of hot though." Speaking of hot this mask was melting my face off.

"Who would want to eat something like that?" Not him obviously.

"I like it." Why would Aikawa hang out with such an unreasonable person. She looked miserable. "Aikawa I hope you don't mind but I'm about to die because of this mask." I yanked it off and threw it in the trash.

"Not at all." Aikawa had a pretty smile. It was forced around this guy though.

"So you don't want this ice cream? I want it actually." He shook his head and went back into staring into space.

"And stop calling me is better." Who would want to be called that? This guy was weird.

"Usagi-san. That's cute." Aikawa laughed. "I didn't mean for that to sound like an insult. I like cute things. I wanted a cat but Nii-chan says it's too much work and that I'll neglect it. Of course I could just get my own cat, but since I live with him I think he might mind it a lot."

"You like cats. Me too. I have one." Aikawa would have a cat. Something that was kind of like her.

"You don't seem like a dog person. No cats are really the best. Oh. We're closing soon. I better help clean up. I hope you enjoyed yourself." I got up and walked away happy that this night was finally over.

I was all showered and back in normal clothes when Nii-chan came home. He always thought my job was a little funny. Wherever I worked it was always a little weird. It was easier to get jobs like that because people constantly quit. I liked anime and manga so I didn't really mind the annoying people that much. I had fun while I was working and that was cool too. My only friends were at work and school. That was a limited group.

When I made my way downstairs for a snack Usagi was there. I chopped my fruit angrily until Nii-chan finally looked concerned. "Are you okay Misaki?"

"You have one picky friend there. He harassed me at work." I rummaged around the kitchen for a bowl.

"Oh you saw Misaki at work? Interesting place." His face said "Misaki works with a pack of freaks and he might even be one." "Misaki I really wish you would consider somewhere else. You know get a girlfriend and work at a fast food place. Normal teenage stuff." The same talk every single day.

"Nii-chan I don't like any girls. I like my job. I'm 19 now, practically an adult. What you've just stated doesn't apply to me. I'd rather have a cat and a year supply of manga." Aikawa walked out of the bathroom.

"Oh come on Takahashi! Don't be such a downer. I'm sure you could find a nice girl around her." Ever since I can remember I never liked girls too much. Well except for Sailor Moon. Every girl I knew was mean or too old. Thinking more and more about it lately I had an unnatural obsession with the writer of the Kan. I even called him beautiful once. In my experience I'd been more interested in guys and I only looked up to him. Maybe I was asexual. I could just split apart and make another little me or something.

"Misaki you've got to like someone." Nii-chan was leaning out of his chair now.

"Well now that I think about it. I really like Kyo Ijuuin. He writes the Kan." I sat at the table and ate my apples while thinking. "That's more of an obsession really..."

"He's not a girl Misaki." Nii-chan was staring at me like I was an alien.

"Not all people likes girls Nii-chan. I've never liked any other girl besides mom and Aikawa-san." Now he looked worried.

"You mean not anyone in your class? Not one." He was halfway out of his seat now.

"Girls are never really that nice to me. I've never had a friend who was a girl...I guess I didn't try very hard either. I've been thinking that maybe I just don't like anyone. Maybe there's something wrong...I've never felt anything for anyone." I never had a girl best friend to fall in love with. I never had a crush with any girls in my class. "Maybe if it was Sailor Moon...I'd like her."

Now this was going to bother me. It was true. I never have liked anything. Not the slightest bit of sparks or a heart breaking crush. Nothing. The only person I remotely thought of as a god was Kyo Ijuuin. I'd never meet him though so it didn't matter.

"I do have a soulmate. He goes to M University. His name is Shinnosuke Todo. The only reason I think that is because he likes The Kan. I know when we go to an autograph signing it'll be all girls in line. That's why I didn't go alone last time. I want to get them all signed! Then Kyo Ijuuin's hand would fall off. I'll just bring two with me I guess..." I was talking to myself now. Everyone was staring at me.

"Todo isn't your soulmate Misaki. He's your friend." Nii-chan was standing up now. Next he'd have to fly.

"Nii-chan...you seem to have a problem with me never liking anyone. What if I suddenly had to tell you a really big secret? Would you act like this?" I stared at him for a while.

"What secret!" He was so stupid.

"I don't have one! I was just saying. Here's an example. What if I was transgendered? Would you jump out of your chair and scare me like this? I'd never tell you anything again. You're creeping me out. I guess I'll eventually find someone. It's not like I haven't kissed anyone or anything. I just never felt anything more than...that "oh..." kind of disappointing feeling." Why did we have to discuss my life?

"You kissed someone!" What did he think I lived under a rock? Really.

"Nii-chan I'm not a hermit. And yes I've kissed people." I tried to eat my fruit in peace but now everyone was looking at me. I've only kissed two girls in my life. Once when I was 12 because me and some girl were curious about it and once in high school at a dance. Other than that I lacked experience. Nii-chan or anyone didn't think I'd ever been with anyone. I guess I looked that pathetic. I've kissed Todo once. That was at work for some play we do at 9:30 sometimes. He was dressed like a girl though so it didn't seem weird. I really don't think any of my kisses counted actually.

I always had to try and make a point. "Well who was it?" Was he serious. Nii-chan usually wasn't like this.

"Well one of them didn't count." My fruit was gone. There was nothing else to distract me. Usually I hated eating healthy. I'd eat 40 apples if I could go to my room.

"Didn't count?" Usagi finally said something. He was reading a magazine.

"Well, yeah. It was for a play at work. Todo dressed as some princess of whatever and I was some random guy who kissed him. So it didn't count." Nii-chan looked horrified. "Don't worry Nii-chan it wasn't a serious kiss or anything. This might sound bad but I don't remember who else I kissed. It was really dark at that dance and I was 12 the other time. I barely remember middle school." All of them just stared at me.

"Maybe one of these days there'll be a kiss I can't forget. Even though Todo is funny he's not prince charming. Or Princess...same thing. We're all the same on the inside except I couldn't have a baby. Not that I'd want to anyway...well goodnight." I ran to my room as quickly as I could. I had to be the most awkward person alive.

Nii-chan probably thought I loved Kyo Ijuuin and Todo and womanized for fun. I could never seem to say anything right. That must be why no one liked me. I always was the friend of so and so. It hasn't stopped either. _You know, Todo's friend._ Did I really want to be noticed? No. Not really.


	8. Girl's Night Out Part 3

**Author's Note: Been sick but I finally have enough energy to write. I was also reading Junjou again since I've been buying the volumes whenever I have the chance. **

Aikawa was pouting the whole way home. "I just can't believe it. He likes Kyo Ijuuin better than me! We work with the guy. He never shaves. He looks like a friggin bear! I mean he cleans up pretty well. I've been going there for months and he doesn't even care about me." He's younger than you are...

"He thinks you're pretty. Isn't that enough?" As for me? I was perfectly happy. My heart starting beating a little faster when I realized Misaki was probably gay. He definitely didn't know. There were people dense enough that they didn't know it. "Maybe if you dress up like Sailor Moon and save the day. I don't like Kyo Ijuuin either."

I dropped Aikawa off and started driving home. Something made me turn around though. Before I knew I was back at Takahiro's place. I could see him and Manami watching some tv show. Misaki was in the kitchen watching from there. Never seen. He was probably lonely. He looked out the window and saw me. I motioned for him to come outside.

It was a couple minutes before the door opened. Misaki walked over in his pajamas, hands jammed into his pockets. He wouldn't look at me at first. "What is it?"

"So when are you going to tell Takahiro you don't like guys at all?" He looked shocked. He just sighed and looked towards the door.

"I've never had the guts to tell him either." His mouth popped open.

"You mean...that you are...I don't think I could ever tell Nii-chan. It's not that he isn't understanding. It's just that whenever we do see a couple like...that he never seems too approving of it. He doesn't say anything to me personally, but I get the message." I'd never noticed that about Takahiro. "I noticed it in you at the restaurant. Any guy would love to go out with Aikawa. She's pretty...not if you don't like girls though."

"Let's go for a walk." We walked quietly for awhile. It started to become uncomfortable. "When did you realize it?"

"When I kissed Todo and it felt more natural than kissing a girl did. I was confused for a little bit. I just stopped thinking about it."

"I'm glad." When I realized Aikawa actually liked this guy there was nothing I could do. I mean she didn't really want to go out with Misaki, but Aikawa liked to claim things even when she couldn't have them.

"Why would you-" He was cut off when I kissed him. Someone as innocent as him needed someone like me. I expected him to push me or run away. He didn't do anything though.

"You're lucky. I've chosen you." I walked to my car and sped off. He was still standing there.

(Misaki) I'd never been kissed like that before. It was full of want. It was too passionate for me to understand. I slipped back in the house unnoticed like always. I always mumbled that I was taking a walk or going to the store and Nii-chan and Manami never said anything. I sat in bed with my fingers on my lips for a while.

"Lights out!" Nii-chan was always cheerful a bedtime. It creeped me out a little. He switched my lights off and kept going around the house turning everything off. Almost 20 and I still had a bed time. Not that I ever went to sleep. Today I was tired though. Every time I closed my eyes I could feel him again on my lips. The thing that scared me was that I hadn't wanted it to stop. I wanted more. I could tell anyone that though.

Besides Usagi was a lot older than me. He was a guy and a was guy. I needed to find a girlfriend, get married, and have some kids. Nii-chan would be happy with that. _But you won't._ The thought suddenly made me feel wide awake. Was I ever happy around here? Not really. Was I happy anywhere? No. Not if Todo wasn't there to force me to have fun.

I walked into the living room and looked on the fridge at the contact list. Usami Akihiko. I picked up the phone and sat on the floor. It took me awhile to finally dial his number, but I did. A tired voice answer. "Hello?"

"It's me. Misaki." I probably looked stupid huddled in the kitchen on the floor talking on the phone to someone I barely knew.

"That's a surprise. Is there something you need?" I could hear some things shuffling around.

"Probably the same thing you need. I'm lonely. I hate it here. I need to go somewhere." It was quiet for awhile.

"You see through me. Everyone else seems to think I'm perfectly happy. I could say the same for you though. Write a note to Takahiro. I'll be there." He hung up.

I wrote a note making up some lame excuse about studying with Todo for something I forgot about then got dressed. I waited outside until a red car speeded into view. For a minute I wanted to run back inside. I always running away though. I hopped in the car.

I had some coffee once I was in Usagi's large condo. I looked at the amazing view from the window while he lounged half asleep on the couch. I spotted a blanket and brought it over to him. When I went to put it on him he pulled me close to him. I feel his heart beneath my hand and before I knew I had my ear right over it. So strong.

"Sorry." I sat up and looked around. There wasn't anything I could sit there and pretend to be occupied with. I settled with being oddly interested in my hands. Usagi grabbed me and pulled me to his lips.

Usagi knew more about me than I knew about myself. He found the places I liked to be touched that I didn't even know about, with his hands, mouth, and other embarrassing parts of his body. I'd never experienced anything like it. And lying there with Usagi on top of me I could only wander if my parents would be proud of me. Whenever Usagi pulled me even closer little by little I decided I didn't care.


	9. Girl's Night Out Part 4

**Author's Note: I'm releasing a couple chapters at a time. So I can't thank for reviews yet...yeah. **

I woke up in Usagi's room. It looked like a toy store, but I could smell him all over the blankets and pillows. I could hear voices downstairs. I wrapped myself in the blanket and cracked the door open. Nii-chan and Manami were talking to Usagi.

"I don't understand why he would come here." Manami wasn't touching her tea and staring around with squinty eyes at Usagi's things.

"He said he was lonely. We watched a movie." Usagi always sounded so calm and reasonable it was hard to not believe him unless you were Manami. She was sitting with her arms crossed acting like whatever came out of Usagi's mouth wasn't even an option.

"Where is he now?" Nii-chan was more trusting of Usagi.

"Asleep in my room. He was too tired to go home and I wasn't carrying him into the elevator and all the way to the car. I already woke up in the dead of night to pick him up. I didn't mind. He obviously didn't want to bother you Takahiro." Usagi was drumming on his leg, the only way I could tell he was annoyed.

I found my clothes folded on the bed. They were clean and warm. He'd just cleaned everything up before they came over. I slipped into my clothes and made my way downstairs. I stretched and yawned before plopping on the couch next to Usagi. "Hi Nii-chan."

"Misaki you can't just run away!" Manami slammed her cup down on the table.

"I didn't. I left a note. You guys could care less any other time I leave." I stared down at my socks. They had little ducks all over them. It wasn't hard to get interested in them.

"Misaki, why would you think that?" Nii-chan looked hurt but it was true.

"Did you notice me walk right out the door while you guys were watching tv last night?" They both looked at each other. "Exactly."

"Misaki that's not even fair." I zoned out through Nii-chan's lecture most of the time. "Misaki! Are you listening?"

"Hmm?" I hadn't realized I was leaning into Usagi's shoulder and internally telling myself to clam down. "No sorry. I missed what you said." Now he was angry. I gripped Usagi's hand tightly. I was so close to him that Nii-chan couldn't see, but Manami could.

"Misaki you aren't scared are you?" Manami's arms were crossed over her chest.

"I don't like people being mad at me." Usagi squeezed my hand.

"Misaki we need to go home." Nii-chan was already standing up.

"I'd rather not." I said it before I could take it back. Nii-chan kept staring at me waiting for me to get up. I sunk farther into the couch and leaned into Usagi.

"What's going on here?" Nii-chan sat down and gestured to me and Usagi. I looked everywhere but at Nii-chan. I could feel Usagi's eyes on me.

"What do you think?" I looked up at Nii-chan and Manami. They didn't say anything. They kept looking at each other.

"I'm not really sure..." Nii-chan knew he was sure.

"I'm sure of what you think." Nii-chan kept looking at Manami. I leaned over and planted my lips on Usagi's. "That, right?" I was so mad my hands were in fists. "Well you're wrong." Usagi looked shocked enough for them to believe it. Nii-chan couldn't seem to say anything. " I don't feel like going home. Leave without me." I was surprised when Nii-chan just got up and Manami had no choice but to follow him.

When the door shut I fell back on Usagi's lap and sighed. "So we have nothing going on?" He looked hurt.

"I didn't say that. I just said what we had wasn't just a kiss. That's all." For the first time since I met Usagi he laughed. I didn't know why it made me so happy. I couldn't stop smiling though. The door unlocked and Aikawa walked in. I probably looked weird lounging across Usagi's lap while we laughed like little girls. I didn't know whether to sit up or stay where I was. I ended up thinking about it so long that I stayed.

"Hi Aikawa-san." She looked at both of us. She seemed mad for a minute and then it looked like her brain shut off or something. I'd never seen that look on anyone's face.

"How cute!" What? Fangirl syndrome. "Akihiko-san I forgot to tell you. Your dad will be over here for a meeting shortly." He looked horrified.

"What am I supposed to do with Misaki? I can't just hide him. You know how he won't go away. How could you forget to tell me something like this?" His was pissed.

"You'd run away if I told you sooner." She dropped all her stuff on a chair. "I think I have an idea of what we can do with Misaki though. I'll be right back."

Aikawa was back a couple minutes later with a box. "Misaki since you have a unisex name it won't be hard for Usagi's dad to believe you're a girl." Usagi covered his mouth before he could let a laugh escape. I stood there with my mouth open just looking around for help.

"I could just leave." Usagi shook his head.

So 30 minutes later I was sitting on Usagi's bed in a dress and a wig getting my makeup done by a way-too-excited Aikawa. "This is just like Princess Princess except you don't go to an all boys school and dress like a girl everyday." When the door bell rung I was officially a girl. I took my place in the kitchen making dinner. I looked like a maid. I guess that was the idea.

Usagi and his dad were talking about whatever for a pretty long time before he noticed me. I was trying not to be noticed until I dropped something which made way too much noise. Wearing girl's shoes was painful. I'd never act like walking in high shoes was easy again.

"Akihiko who is this?" He was looking at me and it was creeping me out.

"This is my maid, Misaki." I turned around and waved. I smiled and tried to look happy. I think I overdid it because Usagi was staring at me like I was an alien.

"Nice to meet you Usami-san." I bowed. What the hell was I doing? "Akihiko-san dinner is almost ready." I walked back in the kitchen thankfully not tripping.

"About time you get some help Akihiko. Especially from a cute girl like her." I laughed and tried to play it off as a cough. Aikawa was trying to keep a straight face and failing. The door rang and I answered it to see Nii-chan. I stepped outside.

"Nii-chan! Get out of here!" Him and Manami had to stare at me a couple times.

"Misaki! What the hell are you wearing?" Manami was mad.

"Usagi-san's dad came over unexpectedly. Aikawa thought it would be a good idea if I acted like the maid since she had this long dress and apron in her car."

"You expect us to believe that?" I opened the door and let them peak in. You guys already thought I was lying to you earlier. Would you believe that Usagi was gay? I don't think so. You keep jumping to conclusions. You have to go for awhile." Nii-chan already felt guilty so of course he dragged Manami off.

I walked back in. "Your friend Takahiro-san stopped by. I told him you were in the middle of a meeting and would call him later." Usagi looked so shocked he almost spilled his coffee everywhere.

"Thank you." He managed to choke that out and look normal at the same time.

Everything was going smoothly until dinner. Usagi's dad insist I sit at the table with them. I'd put on sneakers under my dress a long time ago and I was going tired of being cheerful. My cheeks hurt and I felt like I got my face painted and it was still wet so I couldn't touch it. I was tired and I didn't even want food anymore. All I could do was smile and sit down with everyone.

"What excellent cooking you have Misaki. I guess Akihiko got lucky." I pushed food around my plate trying to make it look like I was eating.

"Thank you Usami-san."

"Call me Fuyuhiko. No need to be so formal." Hehehe. I just smiled and kept pushing food around my plate.

"Misaki you are getting thin these days. You should stop pretending to eat." Usagi that bastard. Betraying me to the enemy.

"Girls are always starving themselves to look good. It's a bad habit to get into." Usagi was just selling me down the river to his dad because he didn't want to talk to him.

"I could say the same to you Great Lord Usami. You barely get any sleep or food while trying to meet your deadlines. And yet you still manage to stay in shape..." Usagi looked like he might break his fork. Usagi didn't say anything else during dinner except the occasional sigh or nod in the right places. His dad left without any incident and Aikawa soon after.

"About time." I pulled off the wig and threw it to the floor. "Being a girl is hard work." Usagi was still sulking on the couch. I got dressed. "Usagi...Nii-chan came by and I don't think he's too happy." Ignored. I leaned over the back of the couch until my face was over Usagi's. "Usagi should I go?"

He pulled me into a long kiss the minute the doorbell started ringing. I knew it was Nii-chan again and that he wanted me to come home. My mind was somewhere else entirely though. After a couple minutes of insistent knocking Usagi got up and answered the door. I pretended to be sleeping on the couch. Nii-chan walked in with Manami and they all sat down.

"Usagi...I would like to know what is really going on." Nii-chan sounded defeated somehow.

"Really?" I could hear Usagi lighting a cigarette. "Everything Misaki's told you I suppose." Usagi was absentmindedly stroking my hair. My eyes started to feel heavier.

"Usagi you aren't being a bad influence on him are you?" Manami was so annoying. She was acting like my mom. Just because mom was dead it didn't mean I needed an automatic replacement.

"I barely know anything about Misaki yet Takahiro. Just one thing. That he's lonely." It was quiet after that. "That's why he called me. He said he was lonely." I also said I hated it in that apartment. I was happy Usagi didn't add that.

"He's lonely?" Nii-chan sounded so sad. It hurt to hear him. I know he needed his own life and I had to find my own way. I had no clue how to start though. I was starting to fall in love though. The void I always felt unless I was with Todo or alone with Nii-chan was being filled. I was afraid that if I left Usagi tonight it would return. I didn't want to use Usagi though. I didn't want to use him to make myself feel better about everything. "And he isn't with you?"

"I guess not." Usagi sounded cocky about that more than happy. I think it was because finally after all these years Nii-chan spent talking about me...he didn't know a single thing about me.


	10. Girl's Night Out Part 5

**Author's Note: ...I kinda got nothing to say. I had a pretty good panini today...Oh yeah some of my chapters were randomly deleted. The start of the story will now be in First Impressions Are Everything 2. Sorry about that. Don't know what happened. **

Misaki went home the next day. He was here more and more though. If he wasn't working he was here. Sometimes he would sleep over and sometimes he would go home. Normally I would take advantage of the situation I was in, but I hadn't tried anything since that first night we were together. I felt like Misaki might break into little tiny pieces.

Aikawa walked in ready to collect her manuscript which was unfinished. "Akihiko-san I hope your finished that lovely manuscript."

"No." She looks furious for a minute and then sits down. "I'm not sure how to end this. I'm not sure what to do about Misaki or Takahiro." The table is filled with discarded cigarettes. The box I had is empty. I was so shaky from coffee I couldn't drink anymore and my brain was fried. I never worried about anyone like this.

"Just invite him over and talk it out." Aikawa patted my shoulder and left without a word. I knew Misaki would stop by at some point. All I had to do was wait. I sat in a bubble bath and tried not to be stressed. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep until I heard Misaki calling me. He poked his head in the bathroom.

I rubbed my eyes. He dropped his bags on the floor and sat in front of the tub. "You look horrible." Blunt as usual.

"I've been worried about everything going on." He tried to hide the pained expression that flashed on his face.

"Don't worry Usagi-san. This is the only place I can go. I don't want you to start getting all weird on me too." He didn't notice I was already holding back? How much it was killing me. I didn't have to. I just felt it was better. I pulled Misaki into a tight hug.

"You're soaking me. Cut it out." I didn't let go though. He finally wrapped his arms around me too. I felt the tears. They were warm. And then he was crying louder and more obnoxious than anyone I'd ever known in my entire life. And this was where I came in. Something I finally knew how to solve.

Misaki's kiss was salty because of his tears. They eventually stopped. He was halfway in the tub clinging to me. "Why can't you just ask for help?

"That wouldn't be like me. I never do things the simple way." Misaki moved away from me and sat on the floor again. "I have to go home today. Nii-chan wants to talk to me about college and stuff. Apparently he wants me to go far from here and gain some focus or something." I could hear my heart loud and clear. I was trying not to panic but I wasn't sure what else I could do.

For the first time since Takahiro I cared about someone way more than I cared about myself. "You don't want to go do you?"

"Of course not. I want to own a bakery and make pastries. Or even cook in a restaurant." Takahiro never mentioned that. He probably didn't know. "I'm going to set him straight today."

(Misaki) Nii-chan picked me up at the park near Usagi's. Since the grocery store was near there I had a valid excuse. Manami was on the couch waiting. She was the kind of person who was controlling but wanted it to be a secret. She was starting to get on my nerves.

"Alright so what do we need to talk about?" I sat down in the chair farthest away from both of them.

"We want you to study abroad." Nii-chan looked at Manami and she nodded.

"I already have a plan for my future." They both looked at each other. "I'm going to culinary school. I finally have enough money saved to pay tuition for the first semester. I will be living with...my boyfriend from now on." Nii-chan didn't say anything. I'd secretly called Usagi and had my phone sitting open next to me so he could hear everything. I hung up before he could say anything that could be overheard.

"What boyfriend?" Takahiro was halfway off the couch. My things were packed already. I'd placed them outside somewhere Manami or Nii-chan wouldn't notice. I'd been prepared to leave for awhile.

"It's none of your business Nii-chan." I stood up and was almost to the door when he grabbed me.

"Misaki I don't even know who you are right now." Now he just looked sad.

"You haven't since everything else became more important to you than me. Not that it's a bad thing. You gave everything up for me and I'm happy for that. You never got to know me though." I walked and grabbed all my stuff. Nii-chan watched from the door but didn't try to stop me. I expected it from him. I walked down the street where I knew I was out of site and waited. Usagi should be there any moment.

After loading my stuff into the car Usagi drove off incredibly fast. I didn't say anything. I knew he was running from something. I was always running. I had no right to judge Usagi. After ignoring his phone for what seemed like forever Usagi answered.

"Usami Akihiko. Ah...Takahiro. Misaki? Yes he's with me." Usagi made a sharp turn onto the highway. I slid across my seat and ended up pinned to Usagi. I scooted over back to my seat quietly. "Yes I am the boyfriend he was talking about. When you calm down you can call me back." He slammed his phone shut and threw it into the backseat. It hit the back window and bounced onto the seat.

I wasn't sure if I should say anything so I stared at the window until we pulled up to some traditional looking house. Some guy took the car from Usagi and drove it down a winding path. :Our things will be up later." He started walking up a huge set of stone stairs and I had to run to keep pace.

"Usagi-san! Relax." I grabbed his arm so he would stop. I'd never seen anyone get some mad at anyone. He opened the door to a little cottage and walked in. "What's going on? Where are we?"

"On vacation until we can figure this out." Away from everything.


	11. Girl's Night Out Part 6

**Author's Note: I can take criticism, but if you don't like my story don't read it. Also for anyone who likes Asian music I have a youtube channel where I make countdowns each month. My username is tokidokilove93 and the channel is called AsianCountdown4evr. I thought some of you might be interested because I am thinking of making a Junjoupod video. **

Leaving everything around me was just what I needed. Misaki owning up and telling Takahiro everything made me feel incredibly small. Misaki had no clue what courage he had when I'd kept a secret all my life until now. I'm glad for it. Now I know the reaction I would've gotten if it was me. If I told Takahiro I loved him before we wouldn't be friends. I never really believed in fate before, but looking at Misaki I knew why I became friends with Takahiro.

When you love someone for so long it shouldn't be so easy to give them up. I thought I would never get over Takahiro when he go married. I was always jealous of Misaki for having his affections and Manami for the same reason. I never thought things would end up the way they did. I never noticed Misaki too much before.

Seeing Misaki behind that mask did it for me. He didn't try to smile or act when he had something covering his face. I could see the loneliness and sadness in his eyes. I was bitter because I didn't want to admit what I was thinking. _He is just like me._ At the moment Takahiro became a fleeting memory and for hours I tried to hold on.

I tried to convince myself over and over again. I love Takahiro. I always have. It was a lie though. People might not think I fall in love easy looking at me, but as far as my experience goes I have. I didn't know I would find someone who shared my feelings once I stopped looking, but that's how love it I guess.

And now walking up the trail in silence with Misaki I had so much to say. None of it would form though. The look on his face stopped me. There was so much pain there. Takahiro had chosen his new family. He had already given up so much for Misaki you'd think if his wife and brother didn't get along he'd end everything. I always thought Takahiro was that kind of person. I always thought a lot about Takahiro that wasn't ture.

My mind painted him into something he wasn't. I loved what I thought he was. It crushed my heart to realize it. I wanted to be away from it all, but it's hard to escape your own mind. And distractions never lasted long enough anymore. Throwing myself into my work only helped so much. Meeting my deadlines or turning in things early had Aikawa more worried than ever.

"I wonder what it would be like to be a star. To see what everyone is doing all the time. Be surrounded by lots of other stars. And look the same as all the other stars." Misaki was looking up at the sky. "If I could just be normal...I've always tried to be normal."

"Doesn't everyone? But it doesn't really matter Misaki because now you have me. You don't need to act any certain way around me." He turned away but I saw the tears before he did. "Come on." I pulled him up to the cottage.

It'd been the only time I called my dad in years. I asked him where a place that no one could bother me was. He seemed shocked to even here from me. Especially after I wanted to punch him in the face after he showed up for dinner like that. I did get to see Misaki as a girl which was entertaining and that's the only reason I didn't hold a grudge. My dad recommended this place. Everything was more for Misaki than me. I knew this kid was going to fall apart any second.

Back in the room I turned on the tub and poured some bubbles in. Some people don't know how to stop worrying. Even I have my limits. Misaki isn't one of those people. He'll worry until he makes himself sick. I can see all over his face already because I am thinking the same things. _He hates me. We'll never talk again._ Maybe. So I hope all this is worth it for both of us.

In the bath hugging Misaki against me I began to regret doubting myself. It's always been my life. I've always made my own decisions. I have never wronged myself in any decision I made. Things always turned out okay for me in the end. I was one of those lucky people. Misaki was worth every breath I had whether he knew it or not. And I would make sure he did. This relationship would work no matter what shit we had to put up with.

Misaki's kisses were growing slow and tired. I could see his eyes drooping. I just held his my chest and continued my assault. He was going to get off that easy. With no cooperation at all it took my forever to dry Misaki off. I put him in one of my t-shirts and plopped on the bed with him.

"Crying makes me incredibly tired. Usagi-san just hold me." Misaki fell asleep that way. I don't know if I listened because he had me wrapped around his finger, or the look on his face. Holding Misaki like that was better than I imagined. His fingers were tangled in my hair and his face in my neck. It seemed like he was trying to move closer all night, but there was no space between us. And whenever he was awake enough I'd get another weak kiss.

I'd never been so excited about something so basic. Misaki was real and he was mine. I guess that's all I wanted. Sometimes you don't know what you want until you get it.

**Author's Note: This is the end to this story, but I still have a couple more! **


	12. Lost and Found Part 1

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews that keep me up when people like to shoot me down for some reason. I would like to point out to everyone that you don't HAVE to read what I write and also it's called fan FICTION. So what if I make the characters act the way I want? That's why I write it. I suggest writing your own story if you would like things to be a certain way. *deep breath* Rant over. And check out the anime for Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi. Shingiku Nakamura's latest. I'm a little late with that. It's good though! **

I never liked to admit that I was lost. Then I would have to admit that I keep spacing out. And then Nii-chan and everyone else in my life would be right about me. Even if they are I won't give them the satisfaction. I was lost though. I knew it and the person I kept walking by in this huge circle knew it. I sat on a bench and ate my lunch in the middle of some place. I had no clue where I was.

It was getting dark and Nii-chan was probably worrying. He had other things to worry about now though. A child and a wife. I guess I was the last of his concern. I was about to give up and sleep on a park bench when I saw someone familiar. Nii-chan's friend...Usagi-san. He was with some girl. I didn't whether to yell or run over...so I did both.

"Usagi-san!" I ran over and stopped right in front of him. His cigarette fell out of his mouth and hit the ground. He looked a little shocked and then had a hard time keeping a smile of his face.

"What brings you so far into town?" Usagi always sounded amused for some reason. Like the world was his and it was all a big joke. Like he was the puppet master watching everyone else up from above.

"Well I was at the bookstore getting manga and then I picked up lunch. I was walking around for so long trying to find a nice place to eat that I got kind of lost. Calling Nii-chan would be admitting defeat. He always tells me I talk too much and space out and one of these days I'm going to get kidnaped. I guess I should pay more attention, but the spring time is so distracting with all the cherry blossoms and everything..." I looked away before I said anything else. "Oh! And then I saw you and figured you knew how to get everywhere because Nii-chan told me how much you travel a couple years ago and all."

"Ah. This must be Takahiro's little brother." The red haired woman was watching Usagi with interest for some reason.

"Oh. My name is Misaki Takahashi. Sorry I didn't introduce myself."

"Aikawa."

"I wish I had pretty friends like you. Usagi is really lucky to have a girlfriend like you." They looked at each other.

"We're not together." Usagi looked like this was something really funny for some reason.

"Well, you just looked nice together..."

"Misaki!" I looked down the street and saw Todo running towards me at top speed. He was hanging off of me before I could move out of the way. "I guess you came for The Kan too! Great minds think alike. I got so excited that I walked too far and got lost!" Was I really that much like Todo? We'd never be able to travel anywhere together.

"Oh...I got lost too."

"We must be soulmates!" Todo was a lot taller than me. He was always clinging and hanging off of me. He got excited about everything and told stories loudly using a thousand hand movements. There was no other person that could be my best friend.

"Usagi-san please tell us where to go!" I tried to look the most pathetic I could. He just stared at me. "Please!"

"Alright. I'll drive you guys home. Come on." We walked behind Usagi holding our copies of The Kan close. Aikawa chatted away with Usagi about some book and how his manuscript better be on time. Nii-chan always said Usagi was too much to handle sometimes. He felt like a kind person to me though. In the back on Usagi's car I began skimming through the manga in my bag excitedly. Todo chatted about flying robots or something.

Todo was dropped off first. I waved until he couldn't see me anymore then burrowed into the plushy back seat. "So what is he your boyfriend?" Usagi looked at me through his mirror.

"Todo? No way! He is my best friend. Going out with a best friend would only cause complications. Going out with a guy would also cause complications. I want to live a normal care free lifestyle."

"So you have a girlfriend then?" Aikawa seemed extremely interested in all of this.

"Of course not!" He looked confused then. "If I was to have a girlfriend they'd have to be completely useless. Girls don't like that feeling. I like to cook and do the house chores myself and I work as many hours I can get. I am taking cooking courses on the side and in my spare time I like to read manga. I watch anime every Saturday with no delays or changes unless I have to visit mom and dad's graves. I like to take walks in the park but usually by myself and I don't like to hold hands with people because my hands get kind of sweaty. I'm too picky about looks sometimes, but someone with nice hair is preferable. I don't think I'd ever go out with someone younger than me because I have not maturity level whatsoever." When I was done I took a deep breath and settled back in the seat with my hands folded on my lap.

"You must be very organized." Aikawa finally broke the silence.

"I'm a slob." My room was a mess but I couldn't stand other messes. Certain areas have to be clean like a kitchen and bathroom and where you entertain. Not my room. It looks like an office threw up everything out of it's filing cabinets and the library donated me all of their manga. "I think a lot of people would clash with the way I think. I'm not as picky as I seem. I am too shy around people to really tell them what I like or not. Most people find out later on."

"All of your qualities seem like good things to another person like cooking and cleaning. You're hardworking and only a little picky. You have normal hobbies." Aikawa was turned around in her seat now. "What girl wouldn't like you?"

"All the ones I've ever met. I've never had a crush on anyone though so it doesn't matter." Usagi looked up at this.

"Not one? That sounds unbelievable." Usagi was right, but it was true.

"Not if you count stalking Nii-chan everywhere." I looked out the window at the trees whirling by in blurs of green.

"No I don't think that counts. You just love him." Aikawa turned back around when the car stopped.

"I guess that wouldn't count. Well, thank you so much Usagi-san. I've taken time out of your schedule and I guess I'll have to repay you somehow. I wouldn't want Nii-chan knowing I got lost again."

"Well I'll be over tomorrow night then. I want to taste this cooking you're so proud of." Exiting Usagi's car I was nervous. Nii-chan and Manami liked my food. Manami cooked more often than I did now but still.

I walked inside. The apartment was dark. No one was home again. I guess everyone went out to dinner. It was Manami's birthday and of course I was late. I looked into the bag at the present I got her. I flipped on the lights in the kitchen and started on a cake.

A couple hours later a beautiful cake was in the kitchen and I was waiting for everyone to return home with Manami's horribly wrapped present in my hands. When they all came in and saw me adding candles to the cake Nii-chan smiled.

"So he was late on purpose! To give you a surprise cake!" I couldn't tell them I just got lost downtown again because I suck with public transportation most of the time. It was a miracle I always got to work spacing out the way I did. I left early everyday in case I fell asleep on the subway.

"Actually I was late because I was picking up Manami's present. It didn't come in until today so I had no choice but to go and get it." I held out the poorly wrapped book. It was a old cookbook that was hard to find. It cost me more than I wanted to spend, but Manami thought I didn't like her very much. It wasn't true. I was just confused about how I felt about Manami. She seemed to think I needed a replacement mom. She already had her own kid now though.

"Wow! Misaki this is great!" Nii-chan was nerdily giving me the thumbs up sign. We actually seemed like a family today. Instead of being happy this weird pain appeared in my stomach making me feel like I was going to vomit.


	13. Lost and Found Part 2

**Author's Note: Thanks for reviews everybody! I'm back to my usual good mood after pouting for a couple days. People can be so rude sometimes. Well here goes it!**

Misaki lived in the same apartment complex as Takahiro...right next door. He had gotten his place yesterday. They had keys to each other's places and Misaki was always walking in and visiting. It made no sense to me. It wasn't really freedom.

So when I asked Misaki to make me dinner it was only going to be us two. I don't know if I could survive. He spaced out and talked too much. It seemed like opposite things but he'd be in the middle of a sentence and just stare. Then he would continue talking after he lost interest in whatever captured his attention.

I found out some things about Misaki even before dinner. His limitless multitasking was dangerous. He read his new manga while frying chicken, taking something out of the oven, and picking up hot things from the counter. When I asked him a question he had to think about he would get this look on his face where he bit his lip and looked up for help or something. He never stopped smiling. Not when he burned himself or tripped or ripped his apron. He did all the talking so I didn't have much to say.

"I hope you aren't bored or anything Usagi-san." Once we sat down to eat it had been annoyingly silent.

"You seem like you have a busy life. You've been entertaining me." Misaki was a great cook. It was unexpected looking at him. And even though he was reading, singing, talking, and fooling around the food was excellent. I'd never eaten anything homemade like this.

"Usagi-san I'll pack you some to bring home. I guess you can't cook for yourself being so busy. Sometimes I don't have time either." He jumped up and was packing up tons of food before I could say anything. I found myself not wanting to go once I was at the door. "Go and visit Nii-chan I told him you'd be around." I didn't want to yet. I couldn't say that though.

"Thanks for dinner." I patted his head and turned to go.

"I hate being patted on the head." His arms were crossed. He looked like a little kid.

"I never really have been so I wouldn't know the feeling."

"You must've always been taller than everyone than. I'm always being patted on the head." Misaki stood up on his toes and patted my head. "Your hair is soft. Well have fun with Nii-chan." _Someone with nice hair is preferable._ He said that yesterday.

"Here read these. Tell me what you think." I handed Misaki a bag and walked out. Poor kid. I never intended to shove a bag full of BL novels at him. I grabbed them before I left the house. Some part of me wanted to know if Misaki liked guys.

Takahiro and Manami would've been fun if they weren't worried about Misaki living on his own...next door. "What if he gets hurt and we aren't home to here it?" Takahiro had been coming up with nearly impossible scenarios for three hours.

"Takahiro it's getting late. And you can always check on Misaki. That's why you have a key." I stood up and walked to the door before they could ask me more questions about keeping Misaki safe or the baby.

Misaki was out leaning over the railing of the balcony looking at the moon. He turned when he saw me and stared for awhile. "It's a good thing you didn't tell Nii-chan you love him." I never even told him I wrote it. I guess it would be obvious to him though. "You've created a person who isn't Nii-chan in your mind. He wouldn't be as accepting as you think Usagi-san. He only thinks in black or white. Girls are with boys. Boys aren't with other boys." I'd never seen Misaki look serious in the couple of times I met him before this. A part of me was still clinging to how I thought Takahiro was even though the logical part of me knew Misaki was right.

"I don't love him anymore, so there's nothing to tell." It was for the best, but now I loved Misaki.

"I never took you for a pervert." He turned away and kept looking at the moon. Pervert? For writing that. It was just my feelings. Nothing perverted.

"You read the whole thing? You're no better." He smiled.

"I guess you didn't a degree for nothing." I was almost down the stairs when Misaki called me. "Usagi it wouldn't be a good idea to say anything to Nii-chan ever. I'm sure you know that already though." He was standing in the middle of the stairs rubbing his arms from the oddly chilly summer night. I wanted to warm him. I took the stairs two at a time until I was directly in front of him. I knew I was going to kiss him. It was like a dream where you want to run but you can't move. So I kissed him and walked away.


	14. Lost and Found Part 3

**Author's Note: Writing a bit more today. Woo! Good for me. I am currently listening to Rain's Love Song for inspiration. I made a Junjou Romantica Google Chrome theme so I can stare at Usagi attacking Misaki all day. **

I'd been staring at the wall for three hours trying to sleep. My hands kept touching my lips though. I thought back to what happened earlier. _I don't love him anymore_ so does that mean it's me? When I closed my eyes I could see him perfectly in my head. I already gave up trying to forget. And earlier today everything with Nii-chan...looking at him he looked too much like dad and being with Manami...having a kid. I didn't want another family and my old one was never coming back. I wasn't something Nii-chan had to look after and drag along everywhere not if it was going to be like this.

That's why when the apartment next door went on sale I put my savings into it. Now I had so much to think about being all alone. My heart wouldn't stop beating and my stomach was being tied in knots over everything going on.

Before I knew it I was in the living room ripping each page out of Usagi's stupid BL novels. I tore it into pieces and started on the next one when I was finished. I was jealous and angry. Nii-chan had so many people who loved him and would do anything for him. He took advantage of it. They could be gone the next day. He knew that for a fact. He took moving on to a new level. His visits to mom and dad's grave decreased every year and I was left standing there alone. He could have his happy family I didn't want it.

The sun was rising and I was sitting in a huge pile of paper. The story of the never would be love ripped apart. Now I didn't feel anything. I wasn't mad or sad or jealous. A knock at the door brought me back to where I really was. I opened it to find Usagi and his editor standing there. I had pieces of paper sticking to me everywhere and I hadn't known it but I had been crying. My eyes were probably all red and puffy. We all just stared at each other until I moved back and opened the door farther.

"I'll make some tea." I walked to the kitchen and methodically did what I did every morning and night for years. Kettle. Tea leaves. Water. Stove. Fire. Aikawa was standing over the huge pile of paper in the center of the room and looking at Usagi with that we-should-get-the-hell-out-of-here look on her face. "Sorry for the mess." I poured tea into cups and place them on a tray. I sat at my small table with Aikawa and Usagi awkwardly. "So what brings you here so early?"

"Well Akihiko told me you'd have the best explanation for why he can't write his BL novels anymore." Me?

"He doesn't love Nii-chan so there's nothing for him to write about. You need real life experience as a starting point right? Some event triggers everything that happens at this place or that place." My tea was still too hot to drink but I gulped some down anyway. "Those novels are all lies anyway. Nii-chan would never act that way because no one is that thoughtful or nice. It's too unrealistic for a romance. You have to run into some problems."

"Is that why you ripped them up?" Usagi leaned forward like he was trying to figure me out.

"No. That's not why." He waited for me to say something, but I stayed quiet.

"You could just write about two different people though." Aikawa was talking to Usagi now. He wasn't really listening.

"Aikawa I'm going to drive you home. I need to talk to Misaki about something so I'll be coming back here. I plan to continue writing, but you can't be here for that." She didn't object as Usagi led her out. Probably happy to get away from me when I looked so crazy.

I went into the bathroom and washed my face. I kept my head under the freezing cold water for a couple minutes. It was enough to wake me up and calm me down. By the time Usagi returned I was sitting at the table no longer acting like a lunatic. The paper pile was cleaned up and I was eating some fruit Nii-chan had given me yesterday.

"Why'd you rip it all up?" Usagi sat on the table right near me so it was impossible to not look at him unless I turned my head.

"A couple different reasons. Just that Nii-chan doesn't know how lucky he was to have someone watching over him like that. I was jealous of that because I never had a close friend like that. Even me and Todo don't hang out everyday or look out for each other like that since he lives a little far away. I couldn't sleep and next thing I knew I was out here tearing all the pages out of every book and making them smaller and smaller. I feel a lot better."

"You haven't slept yet. Come on." Usagi dragged me down the hall and into my room.

"It's really alright. I'm not that tired." He pushed me down onto the bed.

"I'll make you tired then." I had to wonder if he was playing with me. If he was like this with everyone he met. Confusion kept taking over me every time I felt his lips on mine. Did I want this? Did I like it? Should I push him away? I feel my eyes closing though. It was all too much right now.

I think it's almost impossible to fall asleep while having someone all over you. My eyes kept closing and I was really tired but then I would feel Usagi's cold hands or his lips and suddenly be wide awake. It was like everywhere he touched me got struck by lightening. I tried to push him away a couple times but I barely knew what was going on.

All my clothes were almost off when I finally became aware of my situation. I sat up suddenly but that only brought me closer to him. "Stop." He moved away. "But don't go."

"I can't stay here and not do anything to you." Did I want him to stay? Or would I be better off alone? The loneliness that would crush me when he was gone wouldn't let me sleep or maybe it would but it would leak into my dreams. Maybe this was how everything was meant to work out.

"Then go." I flopped back down on the bed. What was I doing? I didn't want him to leave. I didn't know if I was ready for what Usagi wanted though. I couldn't let him get away. I pulled him down on top of me before he could go.

**Author's Note: For some reason this took me forever to write!**


	15. Lost and Found Part 4

**Author's Note: Thanks for reviews! I feel I need a serious update in my love scenes...so here's one.**

I don't think Misaki knew how tight he was hanging onto me. I couldn't even move. He somehow maneuvered himself so his lips touched mine, but he didn't do anything. I think he was trying to but it was impossible to move at all. "You're holding on to tight. You won't be able to move like that."

"You'll leave if I let go." He was the one who told me to leave. Misaki slowly let me go. I kissed him softly at first until he was the one pulling me closer, his kisses craving and urgent. Like I was going to run away, like this could end any moment. I knew exactly how he felt. Every moment I had with Takahiro had felt like that. Now it all seemed so stupid of me. I was always chasing something I could never obtain.

Misaki seemed so frail. When I'd seen him at the wedding, even before then he had weighed more. As Manami was pregnant and moving in with Takahiro I seemed to be the only one who noticed his health going downhill. He got thinner each time I saw him. He had dark circles etched under his eyes and wasn't social anymore. I might be one of the few people he talked around. Hopefully I could make him better by giving him everything.

I could feel his hands in my hair. They were small and looked like they could handle tasks only girls were hired for. Misaki had his eyes closed almost serenely. He looked more at ease than I had ever seen him. As his hands travel slowly down my back I knew I'd never be able to stop. I was going to have all of him right here.

Breathing in his scent, something spicy and sweet at the same time, like cinnamon I knew I was going to have to make him mine or I was going to go crazy. I knew he could easily break, but I was always chasing after things I couldn't obtain. This wasn't any different. I'd never went this far as to try something like this with Takahiro. More and more I realized what Misaki said was true. Deep down I knew Takahiro would reject me if I ever should try to be with him. So I stood in the sidelines acting like I might do something. I knew it would never happen. I knew a good guy like him would find a girl and start a family. And like Misaki, I was slowly but surely being left behind by Takahiro. It wouldn't happen all at once but it would happen.

I was more gentle than I had ever been, a spoiled kid who got whatever he wanted. I couldn't force my way into Misaki's heart though. I could tell just by looking at him. He would resist me as long as he could. Maybe he might not ever give in. For now he needed me and I was his. He didn't know it but he had me already. I would be the one to be controlled by someone like him. Someone who didn't know what love was. Someone who didn't even know what felt good to his own body. He was controlling me. I was his. He didn't know and I was hoping he didn't catch on, because I would do anything for him.

I would make him think I was the one leading everything. I started top to bottom showering him with kisses and taking off any clothing that got in my way. "Misaki. Look at me." He shook his head and threw and arm over his eyes. It didn't take much effort to make him look at me. I moved his arm easily enough. Finally he opened his eyes. Tears spilled over and ran down his cheeks.

"Stupid. Idiot. Jerk! How could you make me so...happy? I've been trying so hard...you didn't have to do anything." I could only smile. I never thought Misaki would be everything Takahiro said he was.

"You're going to be mine and there's nothing you can do about it. You had your chance to get rid of me and since you didn't I'm taking that as an invitation." I didn't give him anymore chances to object. With one hand over his mouth and more red than I'd ever seen anyone Misaki took everything I gave him.

And we both lie there just trying to get our heartbeats normal again the sheets soaked through with sweat. I was the most tired I'd ever been, so finally when everyone was waking up and getting ready for their day I closed my eyes to go to sleep. No I had someone with me though. Unexpected as it was Misaki was now my lover and I wasn't letting him go anytime soon.


	16. Lost and Found Part 5

**Author's Note: Writing again. I like this story very much. **

I woke up and Usagi was gone, but I guess that was better than having to deal with the awkwardness I didn't know how to overcome. My body hurt all over. I turned on the shower and stood under the hot water for what seemed like forever. Finally I started stretching out my muscles. I didn't know this would involve so much work.

I heard the door open. "Misaki!" I could hear Nii-chan walking farther into the house.

"In the bathroom!" I turned off the water and grabbed one of the overly fluffy towels Manami bought me.

"Manami wanted to know if you wanted to go to the park for a picnic. Usagi is going to come with us! We can bring the baby and she already made all the food since you slept in today." Usagi was coming. Should I stay here? Would he take that as rejection?

"Yeah...I guess so. Let me get dressed." I slipped on everything. I had to dress in layers because none of my clothes really fit me anymore. I had to wear a t-shirt, a button up shirt, and then a sweater so Nii-chan wouldn't notice. I dug around in piles of my clothes until I found a belt. I put on my shoes quickly and ran out the door where everyone was waiting down in the parking lot.

I made my way down the stairs quickly. I could hear my stomach already. I didn't like Manami's cooking that much though. She was a great cook. I was surprised when I first tried her food. It was all so bland though. She made everything right out of a cookbook. Maybe I was just trying to find reasons to pick on her. Maybe not.

Once at the park sitting on a blanket I held the baby while Manami and Takahiro played catch. I didn't want this drooling thing that was my niece on my lap. She was already born the good child. She didn't cry much. She went to bed on time. She ate reasonable amounts. Usagi sensed my discomfort but he'd be even more awkward and we knew that. So finally Manami came back and started getting the food out of the picnic basket.

"Oh Misaki. You look like a natural. You'll definitely make a good dad someday." Nii-chan was nodding enthusiastically.

"That'll never happen." I said it more harshly than I meant to, but everyone was quiet. "I need to pee." I handed the baby off to Usagi and walked to the nearest restroom. I splashed some water on my face and looked in the mirror. I had never looked this tired.

I returned and ate my food in silence getting looks from everyone the whole time. I found feel everything just sitting in my stomach and started to feel sick. That happened whenever I tried to eat lately. I hugged my knees to my chest and prayed I could keep my food down.

"Misaki you look a little pale." Manami put her hand on my forehead. "No fever. It must be this hot weather." I could feel myself getting dizzy. It had nothing to do with the weather. Something had me feeling so impossibly bad these past few months and it was catching up with me. I looked to Usagi who was now my safety blanket. I needed to hold his hand.

"Misaki are you okay?" Nii-chan was looking at me closely. My vision seemed a little blurry though. I turned around just before I threw everything up.

"Sorry." I got up slowly and started walking back towards the apartment. I needed to lay down. I got there quicker than I thought but I kept fumbling with my key. Usagi grabbed them from me and opened it himself. I could see Manami and Takahiro walking up the stairs right behind him. I tried to cover my mouth but I was too late. Usagi looked down at his shoes which used to be new. He didn't look like he was going to kill me. He just looked scared for once.

I ran into the kitchen and got myself a cup of water. Nii-chan and Manami were already panicking. "I'm fine. I knew I didn't feel good before the picnic but I decided to go anyway." They stopped and looked at me. "Just get me some medicine Nii-chan." I needed him to get away so I could think clearly. I started peeling off all the layers I was wearing.

"So it's not that you aren't eating." Usagi was standing over me with his arms crossed.

"I can't eat what she makes. I don't want any part of what they have honestly." I should be happy for Nii-chan but I wasn't.

"I'll be back. Get in the shower." Usagi walked out just as Manami was walking in holding a bunch of medicine. Nii-chan was right behind her with towels.

"I'm going to take a shower first. You guys can just leave everything. I'm fine really. I shouldn't have tried to come out when I knew I didn't feel good." I filled up the bath and put some bubbles in. I went back to the front door and picked up Usagi's shoes. Wherever he was he didn't have any one. I scrubbed his shoes until they were clean and placed them outside to air out.

I slipped into the bath and closed my eyes. Before I knew it I was asleep.


	17. Lost and Found Part 6

**Author's Note: A lot of people are making valid points about my writing so I am going to take some time to explain myself before you read. I get a million "I love this!" but then there are some people who think my characters aren't true to the original and blah blah blah. So I would like to say: Just like every person having different personalities and feelings Misaki and Usagi are the same exact way. Because the manga is still being written no one can guess the struggles they will run into. I want to show them in all their deepest feelings (whether its anger, love, indifference) Sometimes I like to give Misaki more control than Usagi because he is so innocent and doesn't know the things Usagi does. Sometimes Usagi needs to be softer and more loving because even though he is constantly saying he loves Misaki he can be very forceful. So my goal is to cover a bunch of different angles. That being said it's just FICTION you don't need to take it so seriously. You can go read the manga or watch the anime whenever you have the time and see the originals for yourself. I'm not trying to change them, just show different perspectives. **

I was in line at one of the best restaurants in town. At least I had some shoes on now. I had to get Misaki back to the way he was and I needed to have a long talk with Takahiro. He hadn't noticed Misaki getting quieter or skinnier or anything else that was going on besides his new little life. I was happy for him at first. Now I was just annoyed.

Hopping in my car I drove as fast as I could back to Misaki's. I had to check on him and make sure he wasn't doing anything stupid. I was in front of the door when I noticed my shoes. They were cleaner than they'd been in a long time and sitting out front of Misaki's door. I walked inside and dropped the food on the table. It was too quiet.

Misaki was asleep. He had the sense enough to turn off the water in the bath and not have his face in the water. Once I deposited him on the bed and went to get a towel he woke up. I started drying his hair first.

"If you don't get some nutrients in you you're going to sleep forever." Misaki sort of helped me get him into new clothes. I pretty much carried him to the bathroom. He was semi-awake when he started brushing his teeth. I put him at the table. "Eat, but do it slowly or you'll get sick." Misaki was eating more than tiny bites when Manami and Takahiro entered.

"Good thing you're here. I was about to come looking for you." Takahiro was wearing one of those ridiculous baby carriers strapped to his front.

"Everything is looking okay now." Manami was trying to smile, but failing.

"Actually Misaki has been this way for awhile. I'm surprised you didn't notice Takahiro." Misaki looked up at me. I knew he was pissed but he didn't have giant clothes to hide under now. Not that it mattered. No one would dress in so much clothes in this weather. If I was living with Misaki I would've picked up on it ages ago.

Takahiro looked at Misaki. I could tell now that he noticed how tiny Misaki was. "Misaki are you...not eating?"

"That's not it. I just feel sick whenever I do. I feel okay now though." He went back to eating silently.

"Well, that's great! You can go to the zoo with us." Now wasn't the time for Takahiro to suggest going out when Misaki obviously needed rest.

"I have plans." The smile vanished from Takahiro's face. I almost felt bad. Almost.

"What plans?" Couldn't he just leave anything alone.

"I'm taking Usagi-san somewhere." First I heard of it. Maybe he was just lying. "It's one of those places where you get to make juice by stepping on all the fruit and stuff. I figured you might not be interested in that." Misaki wanted to take me on a date? He seemed to be telling the truth.

When Takahiro and Manami left I found out he was. "Usagi-san you've helped me out these days. Todo recommended we go here because he had fun. I'm not sure if you'll like it or not. I've never done anything like it." Misaki was already looking a little better. I found myself looking forward to tomorrow even though it was something so silly. It didn't matter no one had ever planned anything just for me. Events were for publicity and birthdays went by pretty much unrecognized. I was hoping this would work and I didn't have to be lonely anymore.

So here we were in the hot sun in the middle of some field. Misaki said we could stay the night in some hotel owned by the people who let everyone come out here and smash food with their feet to make some juice. If not for Misaki's bright outlook i'd be miserable. This wasn't the type of thing I was used to.

"Come on Usagi-san!" Misaki kept pulling me forward every time I was slowing down. I didn't know why tiny people always got all the energy. It seemed unfair.

I realized why Misaki took me here ten minutes into squishing around in a huge tub looking thing. I felt like a little kid. It's something I would never get used to. I never had the time to be a child. Misaki would let me. I didn't think he understood me yet, but he got it faster than anyone else ever did. Everyone always told me to act mature. Sometimes I really just wanted to act like a kid.

For the first time in awhile I smiled...a lot. Misaki did too though. We had fun. Everyone else around us seemed a little mad that they were just hot and tired while we chased each other around and got covered in what was going to be some type of berry juice, and the owners cheered us on because we were making more juice than anyone else.

I forced Misaki to hold my hand on the way back to our room. It was dark and we were walking barefoot on a dirt path. It didn't really seem like night because of them moon. I didn't really feel like an adult because of Misaki swinging our hands back and forth. I could see him blushing, but I wouldn't say anything about it. "There's an outdoor bath in the back of every suite. That's the best thing about this place. I only came to look at it a couple days ago. I was going to just come with Todo. Well I was thinking about it. I probably wouldn't have."

"Why not?" If he couldn't bring a friend why me?

"Well this place seems more romantic than a vacation spot to me. Not that we need to be all romantic or anything!" Misaki pulled his hand away from mine and walked ahead.

When we got inside a kotatsu was already in the middle of the room. Through another door a bed had been pulled out. "There's only one bed." Misaki was standing over the bed with a weird look on his face.

"Guess we have to share it." I tried not to laugh as I turned away to check out the outdoor bath. It was nicer than some of the most expensive places I'd been to. The fence looked like it might fall down any second and the plants were taking over the patches of grass around the bath. It was nice though.

"Wow! So cool!" Misaki was leaning over the edge of the bath. "We can just get in like this since our clothes are so dirty!" We were covered from head to toe in dirt and bright red juice. Misaki was already in the bath and sitting down.

"Isn't the point to actually take your clothes off and get clean?" I sat next to him anyway.

"We can just take them off now." Misaki was trying to pull his shirt off. "Oh. Things get heavier with water." It took him about ten minutes to get everything off. "It's so warm." Misaki looked at me and turned red. I was in the middle of taking my clothes off.

"Am I supposed to just stay like this?"

"Of course not. Just friends hanging out!" He might be even more awkward than Takahiro.

"Misaki...thanks for today." He was quiet for a minute.

"Well I really like you and since you made me happy..." He started making little waves with his hands to avoid looking at me. I wouldn't do anything yet. It was going to be hard for me to hold back any longer. I think everyone just assumed Misaki was stupid. I'm even guilty of it. He came up to me hopelessly lost a couple blocks from his own house. Takahiro always said he wasn't the best student. I thought he was jealous of Takahiro's good fortune and that's why he was being difficult. I didn't like him before I knew him.

I misunderstood. If Misaki didn't get lost we wouldn't have ran into each other. With the number of phone calls Takahiro and I had decreasing slowly I wouldn't have been over there anytime soon. If Misaki wasn't mad that Takahiro was taking advantage of the people who watched over him he wouldn't have opened up to me after ripping up my books. If he wasn't so stubborn and difficult I wouldn't love him so much already.

All I had to do was wait now. Just because I loved Misaki it didn't mean he returned my feelings.


	18. Lost and Found Part 7

**Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews and support everyone! **

I was more tired than I'd been in a long time. It was like going on a field trip then coming home and falling right asleep without doing anything. The only thing keeping me awake was the closeness of Usagi. We weren't touching, but I could feel him there and that was enough to keep me awake. He was staring up silently. I was shocked that he didn't try and be a pervert but I guess that was for the best anyway.

"Usagi do you think that Nii-chan would be mad seeing us together?" He looked at me for a minute and was quiet for awhile.

"Most likely. More at me than you. I'm supposed to be the responsible one."

"But...if you like someone you can't help it right. I mean you don't like me in a bad way right? It's just nice being together. It's fun. And people can have relationships with whoever they want once they are old enough." I felt so young. I didn't know anything.

"That's true. If you want to be with someone and you are an adult no can really tell you otherwise." I was old enough to be with who I wanted even if it was a guy.

"But we would get caught together eventually. It's not something I want to feel guilty about. That's why I'm glad I live by myself now...even if it is just next door." I was free in my own way. I would always be bound by something I guess. Something in me might always want to be that perfect brother.

"I think it's time you make some decisions for yourself. You've tried to please Takahiro too much. Even though he did take care of you...it seems he has no probably slowly letting the things that matter go." It was okay to have a family and friends and a job. Nii-chan was only thinking of Manami and I could understand why. He just had his first child. I could admit when I was being selfish. That was the difference between me and Nii-chan. He didn't know when he was being selfish and if I told him he wouldn't admit to it.

"Usagi-san I think I like you too much." I turned on my side facing away from Usagi, but I moved closer. When I was falling asleep I could feel the weight of his arm holding me against him. I was happy. I was also right though...soon enough we would get caught. It's hard to hide things from someone you are so close with. And after Nii-chan realizing he wasn't paying attention to me now he'd be everywhere I looked.

Our drive home in the morning was quiet. I was still tired, Usagi was groggy, and there was traffic. My constant yawning didn't help the fact that Usagi was about to drop dead of exhaustion. We had to much fun yesterday. My legs felt like jello, I had a headache, the smell of grapes was making me nauseous, and my feet were practically stained pink. "That was fun yesterday...but I feel like crap." Usagi smiled.

"I feel like my legs are going to fall off." Usagi turned sharply into the parking lot just barely missing hitting someone. He parked right near the stairs so I wouldn't have to walk far.

"Next time you plan everything. I suck at this. I did have fun though." I grabbed all my stuff and hauled it all inside. I walked straight to my room and collapsed on the bed. I could hear Nii-chan and Manami just getting up. I'd have to try more. I liked Manami and I was being a baby about everything. It was all so stressful. I knew it was time to try and move on, but something told me Nii-chan was doing everything the wrong way. Not honoring mom and dad's properly memory was wrong, at least to me.

I'd been falling asleep so easily lately. I shouldn't really even be tired still. I got eight hours of sleep but I still was dead tired in the car. It must be my body catching up with me. I could barely hold my eyes open. I stopped trying and let them close.

I woke up with a fever. I felt hot and tired and sick. I walked outside. It was chilly for a summer night. I knocked on Nii-chan's door. Manami answered. "Manami is Nii-chan here?"

"No. Sorry Misaki." She looked so tired. Probably because Nii-chan wasn't around.

"No it's a good thing. You see I'm sick and he'd just freak out." She put her hand on my head. It was cold. It felt nice.

"Oh, god. Misaki there is nothing I can do about that. We need to get to the hospital. I can't get your fever down myself." She looked like she was at her breaking point. I could imagine it living here.

"He works too much doesn't he? He isn't home to help with the baby. It seems like when you're out he doesn't help much either." She seemed shocked for a minute then just nodded. "Must be because he already had to raise me, or because he wants you to be able to stay home longer. I'll call Usagi to take me." I went back inside and dug around for my phone. Usagi's number had been one of the first in my phone. Nii-chan said I could always call him in an emergency. I never had before.

It rang over and over again. Finally he answered. "Hello?"

"Usagi-san are you busy?" I could hear people in the background.

"I'm at a stupid dinner. I've been waiting for an excuse to leave. Why?" I could hear people laughing and the clinking of glasses.

"I think I need to go to the hospital. I'm sick. I have a fever. Manami was going to take me, but I don't want to get her sick or the baby." I was starting to feel a little dizzy.

"Give me five minutes." I sat down when I heard the squealing of Usagi's tires through the parking lot.


	19. Lost and Found Part 8

**Author's Note: Misaki is always getting sick and not telling anyone. That will never change. **

Misaki was really sick. He'd barely been sleeping or eating and still went to work and ran around like a regular person. I was still mad the Takahiro hadn't noticed his dwindling weight or increasingly big dark circles before I did. All of this could've been avoided and that's what pissed me off the most. I didn't look at Manami or Takahiro while we sat in the emergency room.

Takahiro was pacing and making me angrier than I'd ever been in my life. I hated pacing. It made me want to choke someone. I sipped on the worst tasting coffee of my life and tried not to fidget too much. Misaki must be the king of running yourself into the ground. The doctor was talking to Takahiro, but I couldn't bring myself to listen. I wasn't any expert but his fever wasn't anything minor.

"We can go see him." Manami was standing in front of me. I could tell she didn't want to see. I didn't either. I got up anyway and walked behind Takahiro dreading every step. Without himself all piled in layers Misaki looked very sick. It almost looked like there were bruises under his eyes. Different things were beeping and tubes were everywhere. "He should be fine. The doctor said there was some dehydration and lack of sleep and nutrients." How can he act relieved about that? It's still bad.

I visited Misaki everyday. Sometimes I ran into Takahiro, sometimes I didn't. He was happy to see me whenever he was awake. He was asleep a lot. Every time I walked in he looked better. He was getting back to his old self slowly...well at least how his old self looked anyway. And then he was out of the hospital and back at home. When I heard I rushed over.

Walking up the stairs I saw Misaki squatted down in front of the door. He was installing a new door knob. He didn't seem like the handy type, but I guess anyone could install a door knob. I also didn't think anyone owned overalls anymore but Misaki was full of surprises. "Hey Usagi-san. Nii-chan is getting on my nerves so I gave him back his key. He said I couldn't have mine back. I didn't think that was fair so I'm installing new locks." He tossed me a key. "Someone needs a copy besides me or I'll lock myself out."

"You know I'm going to come over and bother you now."

"Yeah. I don't mind if it's you." Manami was standing in Takahiro's doorway with snacks. She'd started to get suspicious after I was in the hospital everyday looking after Misaki. And now hearing a conversation like this was making it worse. Misaki didn't seem to care.

"Hi Manami." Misaki continued working like she wasn't offering him anything.

"I brought out some snacks." She was trying so hard. I wonder if I would be any better in this type of situation. Probably not.

Misaki reached up and grabbed a riceball. He stuck it in his mouth and kept working. "Misaki I wish you wouldn't change those locks. Takahiro wants to be able to check on you. Especially after everything that has happened."

"A bit too late for that don't you think?" Misaki quickly ate some more of Manami's food. He looked like he just wanted to get talking to her over with.

"No I don't think it's too late. He just wants to be a good brother to you." She held the empty plate to her chest.

"Manami I think he needs to worry about you. You're his new family and you need more than I do." She looked down at her feet.

"You're his brother. You come first." It looked like it took her effort to say that. Misaki just sighed and kept working.

"Manami I know you'd rather have all his attention. Right now, I'm fine with that. I'm not ready to jump in and be best friends with Nii-chan just yet." Manami walked back inside. She wasn't mad though. She was smiling. I think she needed Takahiro all to herself, but if I wasn't careful the same thing would happen to Misaki.

I followed Misaki inside. "I guess it's my job to look after you. Not that it would be much of a job." Misaki sat down at the table and sipped at some tea that was probably cold.

"I get tired around Nii-chan and Manami. Now they just keep asking endless questions." I picked Misaki up and took him to his room.

"You still need to rest. Just try your best around them." I was about to leave when Misaki kissed me.

"Thanks for watching me. At the hospital and everything." So I spent my evening watching some stupid movie with Misaki in his bed. Some times he would just be looking at me. Then he'd be nodding off. Before I knew it I was asleep too.

In the middle of the night I woke up. Misaki was shaking me. "Usagi-san. I need to tell you something." He was sitting up at the opposite end of the bed. "I've been thinking about it for awhile. I just wanted to tell you that I think that I don't like you. I think that I might love you." I could hear my heart pounding in my ears. "I just wanted to tell you that, since I know how you feel." Misaki curled up at my side again.

I turned Misaki around and kissed him with everything I had. He kept surprising me. Whenever Misaki was tired he'd admit more to me. Our lips were glued together for what seemed like forever.


	20. Lost and Found Part 9

**Author's Note: Thanks for reviews and such. I haven't wrote in awhile cuz I went to the Girugamesh concert! It was amazing. Last chapter of this though and there will be another story after this one. **

I heard pounding on the door. It was early in the morning. I untangled myself from Usagi and pull on some pajama pants. I opened the door to see Nii-chan standing there. "Yes?" I kept the door halfway closed in case I needed to slam it in his face. I rubbed my eyes.

"Why is Usagi still here?" What the hell?

"He was too tired to drive home. It's not like you had any extra room." I tried not to sound like a smartass but kind of failed. Usagi was already in the kitchen making coffee.

"Misaki let me in. We need to talk." I stepped aside and shut the door behind Nii-chan. He sat on the couch. "Don't you have work today?"

"Well considering that I was in the hospital for a couple days and not feeling well, I took a vacation to relax and I used the rest of my vacation time to get better. I won't be in work until next week." Usagi was acting like he wasn't listening, but I could tell he was. Nii-chan looked around. "Nii-chan what do you want this early?" I didn't feel up to anything right now. I could crawl in a hole and sleep for a year.

"I just wanted to make sure you weren't goofing off, or doing anything questionable." I almost couldn't control the urge to punch him. Nii-chan saw my hands clench into fists and realized it. Usagi was watching me from the kitchen.

"Nii-chan I don't have time for this." I walked as calmly as I could to the bathroom. I turned the shower on full blast and stood under the water trying to get my breathing under control. I also didn't want to hear the confrontation with Usagi Nii-chan would have. Knowing Usagi he wouldn't let anything that just happened pass.

The water was starting to run cold when the bathroom door opened. Nii-chan was standing there looking crazier than I'd ever seen him. I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel. "What's your problem?"

"So you're busy having a relationship with my best friend behind my back now." At first I didn't know what to say.

"It wasn't behind your back. If you opened your eyes a little bit you would've realized some things. Why was it that Usagi knew I'd lost weight before you? Why would I take a vacation with him and not my family? Why would I enjoy spending time with him more than I do with you?" Nii-chan obviously thought I would deny everything. He didn't have much to say.

"You can't see him anymore." When Nii-chan served as my parent this would've scared me. Lately we'd been less like family and more like friends about to part ways.

"That's not for you to decide. I'm old enough to be with who I want to. I don't live with you anymore and I don't think I'm bothering anyone besides you. After all this time you've never asked me if I was happy about your marriage or your baby or anything, so I don't want any questions from you about who I'm with. I don't want to know if you are happy about it or not because I don't care." Usagi was behind Nii-chan. He looked like a someone just ran over his dog. My guess was Nii-chan wasn't going to be his friend anymore.

I looked over to Usagi. "We need to get out of here." I pushed my way passed Nii-chan and to my room where I quickly got dressed. Usagi was already out the front door. I packed my backpack with a couple things.

"I guess there isn't anything I can do right. I at least thought I raised you right." What was that supposed to mean? "I didn't know you'd become like this." This...

"Nii-chan I don't think it matters who you love whether it's a guy or girl. I've been this way my whole life, but of course you didn't notice that." I controlled my tears until I was in Usagi's car. I got in the backseat like a little kid and hugged my knees to my chest. I put my head down and let the tears fall silently. Usagi was driving fast and I didn't have a clue where we were going.

"I need to make some arrangements. Aikawa will take care of you until then." Aikawa's house was nice. There were books, papers, shoes, and clothes everywhere but it still looked nice somehow. She had a huge bed with a canopy and her room was pink everywhere. A lot of her house was pink. Everything in the kitchen and bathroom. A guest room was blue, but almost everything else was pink. I sat on her couch while she handed me tissue after tissue.

"What's going on?" I guess she had a right to know and when you feel bad you always want to talk to someone.

"Well...I'm pretty sure you know some of what happened, right?" I sipped some tea. Aikawa looked different at home. Prettier I guess. With her hair up and some reading glasses on her head (which she kept forgetting) she looked more like herself.

"Yeah I heard some of it from Akihiko-san. I can understand your situation. Not everyone always accepts who you are with and sometimes it can ruin important relationships. Maybe being with that person is more important than the other people you've been around because you already had your time with them. Well, that's how I feel about it anyway. If Akihiko-san cares so much about a person than maybe you two were meant to be together." Was Usagi more important than everyone else? I hadn't asked myself this yet. He was. I knew it.

"I think you're right." I wiped my eyes. I felt better now. I had to move on from all of this. Nii-chan was never going to listen to me. I was still that kid in mourning for his parents. I was also the adult who could make the decision to be the person he loved. Even though things would be tough it would be okay. I know thinking that way can be unrealistic, but I really wanted to believe it.

I sat next to Usagi on our ride to wherever it was we would end up. I held onto him in the train station and fell asleep on his shoulder on the train. He carried me to the car because I was too tired and delirious to be bothered. I leaned on him when we walked to our hotel room and after changing into pajamas he bought for me I slept next to him. I was happy doing all of that. Waking up in the middle of the night to see his face made me happy. I felt my way to the bathroom. I looked like hell. I always did after crying. I was still smiling though.

More tears fell but I was so happy I could just scream. I washed my face and returned to bed. Usagi was awake now. I sat on the edge of the bed. "Where are we?"

"The last city before you reach the countryside. I won't tell you exactly where because it would ruin the feeling of disappearing for awhile. Only Aikawa would know about a place like this I guess." Usagi didn't really sound tired despite the traveling. I couldn't imagine him falling asleep on a train for some reason.

"I'm glad we're here." At the same time we moved to kiss each other. We were together in this all. That thought made me so happy I had to turn away from Usagi all together. "Sorry. Give me a minute." I could practically hear my heart. Just as I turned Usagi's lips touched mine. It's funny how something as simple as a kiss can travel through your whole body, or change your definition of love.

And so, I was fully in control of myself this time. I remembered every kiss Usagi gave me even though it was embarrassing and I couldn't think about it without turning bright red. I remembered his scent and how he felt and how I felt. It was something I didn't want to forget, the day I started my life.


	21. The Visit Part 1

**Author's Note: I always make these longer than I intend to. Thanks for all the reviews on the Lost and Found story everyone. And have fun reading the next story starting now, The Visit. **

I don't know why I still got excited every time Takahiro was going to visit me. He married now and his wife was pregnant. Every time he said he was coming by I would rush home and try and make everything perfect. On the phone I told him to let himself in. The problem was that he brought Misaki. I heard so much about him my whole life it was almost like I knew him. I was curious because I'd never seen him or talked to him, but I just wanted to talk to Takahiro.

I walked inside to find Takahiro sitting on the couch. Who I assumed was Misaki was sitting with his back against Takahiro's arm and was asleep. He didn't look like Takahiro at all. From what I could see which was his skin tone and brown hair. Misaki was a little sun burnt and wearing clothes which looked like they'd be given to him years ago. He was a little dirty.

"Misaki works at a construction sight in the summer. I don't really want him to, but he somehow talks me into everything." Takahiro looked the same as always just happier. I could feel my heart breaking into pieces...again. "Misaki, wake up."

"Later." Misaki turned on his side.

"Misaki! Usagi is home now." He shook Misaki, hit him, held his nose, and even tried to pull him off the couch. All he got was grumbling and then Misaki went back to sleep. "Misaki please!" Misaki opened one eye and stared at Takahiro.

"Okay, okay." We all sat at the table awkwardly. Misaki drunk his coffee and Takahiro's. He was still rubbing his eyes and yawning every one in awhile. "Nii-chan when people visit their friends they tend to have fun. This may be new to you." Takahiro laughed. I didn't. "You should've let me sleep so you could talk freely. I'm going for a walk." Misaki walked out before Takahiro could do anything.

"Sorry I didn't tell him we were stopping here. Mostly because I knew he'd just stay in the car and bake. That's probably what he's going to do now. He must be mad I brought him somewhere looking like that." Takahiro and I talked for awhile before Misaki came back with a bunch of candy.

"Misaki! Why did you get all that?" Takahiro was standing up now. "We should go return it."

"My supply is running low at home. I figured I'd pick some up." He had chocolate smeared all over his face. I realized I forgot his age.

"Misaki you just turned 20. You should stop having your same eating habits from when you were a little kid." He could not be 20. That was crazy.

"You're just jealous because Manami wants you to eat healthy." Takahiro had to pry all the candy away from Misaki and then marched down to the store to return it himself. Misaki pouted.

"Sorry about this." He mumbled. "Nii-chan never lets me do what I want. I have lots of money saved up. I'm going to move out soon. He wants me to stay forever. It's too awkward for me though, with him and Manami there." I knew how he felt. Takahiro seemed like a different person whenever he was with Manami. It wasn't bad that he was happy it just made me realize how much I couldn't make him feel that way.


	22. The Visit Part 2

**Author's Note: Writing a bit more today. Let's not have a weak ass uke. We want an uke that takes charge! I can imagine protesting for that...**

While Nii-chan and Usagi-he was forcing me to call him that-talked some more I took a shower. Nii-chan was always dragging me out to visit someone I didn't know or tricking me into food shopping. I never understood why he wouldn't just tell me where we were going. I would probably go with him to get out of the house.

That's why I had two part time jobs and tried to go out with my limited supply of friends every once in awhile. I'd been putting away money for almost a year now. I'd been wanting to move out ever since Manami moved in. Having a girl around made things different. I couldn't watch tv all the time and I couldn't forget to take off my shoes before coming in or fixing the toilet seat. Nii-chan was so much different than he used to be.

I only had minimal work at the construction sight, which was carting around bags of dirt for a couple hours. It wasn't bad and Todo was there with me so it was okay. It had been sunny lately and a little hot, but it gave me an excuse to come home, take a shower, and go to sleep without really talking to anyone.

Standing in Usagi's room was shocking. There were toys everywhere. I didn't have any extra clothes so I was just going to borrow his. The problem was they were huge. I was already a small person to begin with. I put on some pants and grabbed my belt, then I rolled them up and safety pinned them. I put on a button down shirt and rolled up the arms. I looked more like myself now.

I always knew I was going to look young. I'd never get any taller or grow a mustache or anything. Swimming in Usagi's clothes I looked even younger. I wouldn't look so gross to everyone now. I was careful coming down the stairs so I didn't trip. Nii-chan looked at me for a minute before bursting into laughter. I was used to him doing this so I ignored him. Usagi just stared for awhile.

"He looks nicer all clean." Usagi was putting out a cigarette and lighting another. I hated cigarette smoke.

"You shouldn't smoke. It'll ruin your health." He glared. "I'm just telling you because you're Nii-chan's friend and he cares about you." Finally he put down the cigarette. I was forced to sit next to Usagi because Nii-chan was stretched out on the smaller couch. A bear was in the middle of us. I retied his lopsided bow. Usagi watched me the whole time.

"Usagi! Are you listening?" Nii-chan was in the middle of some story no one cared about. Probably him and Manami going to the amusement park. He turned back to Nii-chan.

"Nii-chan tomorrow I need to get up early." Usagi turned to look at me.

"Why you don't have work?" Nii-chan was drinking more coffee. He was starting to make me feel dizzy.

"I'm looking at apartments tomorrow. I'm going to live with Todo pretty soon. I know you and Manami will need room for the baby and it's about time I move out anyway." He was quiet for awhile.

"No." I sighed. Now wasn't the time for this conversation, but I'd rather get it over with.

"I'm going to leave whether you think I'm ready or not. I've let you tell me what to do way passed the age of 18. I can make some decisions for myself. It's not like you won't see me Nii-chan." I stretched out and pretended to be tired which wasn't too hard during this conversation. I'll go wait in the car.

I walked slowly down the stairs. I didn't bother with elevator. I just needed some time to think about things. Running it all over in my head I knew I absolutely needed to leave. Nii-chan wouldn't understand anything I told him even explaining it in simple terms. He thought me wanting to leave meant I didn't like him or Manami. It wasn't that. Manami was great. I didn't need another mom and I didn't need Nii-chan to be my dad. It was something he couldn't understand.

I still got to the car before Nii-chan. I sat on the hood and looked up at the stars. _Make as many wishes as you want idiot. Nothing will happen._ The truth had to be that I was jealous of Nii-chan. He was headed for this great life. Even though I was only 20 I couldn't imagine gaining the things Nii-chan has so fast. Falling in love, having a great job...I couldn't imagine it.

Half asleep at home the same negative thoughts plagued me. I finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion. I woke up without an alarm and snuck out. Nii-chan probably could stop me if he tried even though I was developing some muscle from work.

Todo was waiting on the corner. He looked as nervous as I felt and we found ourselves walking in silence, something that never happened. When we reached the place, right across from the construction sight where we worked, we just stared for awhile. The rent would be cheap split in half and it would be fun to live with someone you had so much in common with. I didn't know much, but Todo stayed over for days at a time and we've never really fought that much.

By that afternoon we'd signed the lease and the place was ready for us. My nervousness was replaced with excitement. I rushed home and started packing. Todo was borrowing a van from a friend and would pick me up with my stuff tomorrow. Nii-chan watched everything from my doorway without saying anything. Manami helped me with things that weren't too heavy. I was starting to like her more than Nii-chan.


	23. The Visit Part 3

**Author's Note: Usagi and Misaki will find their love now! I jump into things a lot I think I needed more back story this time. I got impatient and gave up, luckily. **

Aikawa was dragging me to the construction site of our new offices. Someone had to look things over and since I usually got out of everything it was me. Now we had offices where we could work if we couldn't find peace. I didn't like people anyway so mine would always be abandoned. It was hot and had to be the most boring thing to be doing on a nice day, not that I'd really do anything today.

I looked around and noticed Misaki carting around bags of dirt and rocks and whatever else everyone needed. He looked tiny but he was starting to get a little strong. Takahiro called last night ranting about how Misaki moved out and was making some huge mistake. I could understand his situation though. He looked up like he sensed me or something. He put everything down and walked over.

"Hey Usagi-san." Some part of me liked how he said that, like we had always been friends and he wasn't a total weirdo a couple days ago. Plenty of people stopped what they were doing to look over. I hated people. "What are you doing here?"

"The publishing company is making more offices here. So people can write and they can expand. I'm not very interested, but my editor made me come out here. Since I'm passed my deadline I couldn't really refuse." Misaki was listening but he was also stretching. I swore I heard every bone in his body crack.

"Well, you're lucky you came late. We're almost done for the day so it won't be much longer. Good thing too. I'm starved." His eyes were extremely green. I hadn't noticed the other day.

"How about I take you somewhere? I heard you just moved. Congratulations seems in order." He thought about for awhile.

"Well, Todo will be out tonight so I don't see a problem with it. Of course I'll have to head home and shower and all that. I better get back to work. Pick me up at eight!" Misaki jogged back to his place where he was getting questioned by everyone. He was brat. He was already giving me orders. He didn't know who I was though. I'd teach him.

Speeding through the highway to get Misaki made me feel weird. I know I offered to take him somewhere, but usually this would be Takahiro with me. Lately he'd been busy. We hadn't gone anywhere in months. I was happy just to have him stop by. When he lived farther away it was tough, but now it seemed worse knowing he was so close but I still didn't see him.

Misaki looked more himself in regular clothes. He looked nice actually. "So where are we going?" Misaki hopped in the car with more than enough enthusiasm for both of us.

"I have no clue." I started driving around.

"That's great! You always find the best places when you least expect it." He was the opposite of Takahiro. He thrived on routine. We went to the same handful of places for the past couple years. He ordered the same couple things that he liked and still listened to the same music in his car. I found it comforting, but something about Misaki was comforting too. How sure he was about some things, like moving out or finding a new place to eat. For awhile it was silent. "Have you ever been there?" Misaki pointed out the window to some ramen shop.

"You shouldn't do that. A car could drive by and chop your hand off." He stared at me for a minute.

"A meteor could also crash down on Earth." The total opposite of Takahiro. "Let's go there." Before I even stopped the car he had the door open and hopping out. If I got Misaki killed Takahiro would kill me. "Come on Usagi-san." He was already running inside! I parked and walked like a normal person.

Misaki was chatting to the hostess. "I like all kinds of ramen." It was obvious this girl thought he was cute. All she could do was nod.

"Are you going to talk all day Misaki? I thought you were hungry. We'll need a table for two." When we were finally settled down I was amazed at how much such a small person could eat.

"Hey Usagi-san how did you become friends with Nii-chan?" There were three bowls already stacked up next to Misaki.

"Just through school. We've known each other for so long now. Kids aren't shy so it's easy for them to make friends." Misaki nodded.

"I find it funny that you are friends with him. You seem much more relaxed than Nii-chan. I could never tell Nii-chan certain things." Misaki stole my wine and took a sip of it. His surprises never ended. When he wanted me to try something he'd just lean across the table and make me eat it right there. It caused tons of people to stare at us. He'd just say "friends do that kind of thing" and launch into some story about him and Todo.

"Like what?" I moved my wine farther away from him. He didn't notice, or didn't care.

"Well I'm really not confident at all. I just try really hard to be. I was so shy in school everything just passed me by. I regretted not doing anything, but it was too late. I couldn't go back." He was pushing he food around quietly. "Or that I won't be getting a girlfriend, or having kids he can spoil because I don't even like girls." I would've choked if I'd been eating. "Also that I don't like him very much lately. He can't balance things very well. I don't get much attention from him. What he thinks is bonding is him dragging me places. I'm talking too much."

"So you don't like girls? That makes two of us." I downed my glass of wine and refilled it. "Takahiro never seemed to notice it. I'm getting over things slowly."

"You're lucky he didn't. He wouldn't understand you. He'd act like if you told him things would've been okay, but he can't handle that sort of thing. I never thought I'd just say it so easily. I also never would've noticed looking at you on tv or something. Life is full of surprises I guess. I like you more now. Maybe because I know something Nii-chan doesn't. He has everything, but doesn't notice it." I ordered Misaki more food that I knew he probably wouldn't eat. I needed some reason to keep talking to him though.

"So when did you know?" Misaki didn't look like he'd be gay, just someone who cared about their appearance. Or maybe he thought he should try and look straight. What does that even look like though?

"I don't know. It took me awhile. All those years of not having crushes on any girls or not going out with anyone. It just hit me one day I guess." Misaki picked at the food I got him. "It's hard not telling anyone. I want to. I'm not so confident as to not care about what people think. Many people aren't." I couldn't agree more.

Sitting on a hill overlooking the city I told Misaki about my life so far. Even though I knew I would never had a relationship with girls, I never had a serious one with a guy either. Everyone seemed to want something that wouldn't last. I didn't know what I wanted so I couldn't expect much. Loneliness grew and spread and I was becoming unhappy slowly and didn't realize until recently. I was 30 and still alone. My dad wanted me to marry someone that would benefit our family. I was finally about to because it wasn't like I had someone.

"Nii-chan wants me to go on dates. He tries to set me up with people. It's annoying." I couldn't really imagine Takahiro doing I had someone to talk to who was like me. It felt great. I was laughing more than I had in awhile. Misaki was a funny kid and he was cute. He'd suddenly barged in and woke me up from all the negative things that had been going on.

I don't know why I did it but I kissed him. "You should take me home." He wouldn't look at me in the car. We sat outside the apartment complex in silence.

"Usagi-san...I'm younger than you...and you're my brother's friend. I don't know if it's right..." He was looking out the window.

"Just think about everything." It was all I could say. He nodded and left the car. He suddenly turned around and leaned in the window.

"Here's my number. Call me in a couple days. I'll have an answer for you soon." He ran inside after that. I looked at the paper for a long time. I couldn't understand why my heart was beating so hard. You'd think someone who wrote love novels would know.


	24. The Visit Part 4

**Author's Note: Being on spring break gives me no reason to not stay up all night and write. **

I was lying at home just being useless when Usagi called. I'd been thinking about his kiss for three days now. I still didn't know what to think about the whole situation. I knew I liked what happened, but I also knew it was wrong in one of the wrongest ways. You can't date a siblings best friend. It's like a law or something. I was lying on the bed after a shower when the phone started ringing. I knew it was him. I was glad Todo wasn't home often.

"Hello, Misaki speaking." I was surprised I could sound like a human being.

"It's Usagi." I thought I was going to die right there.

"Usagi-san...I think we should spend more time together. If anything is going to happen, I'd rather know you well first." That wasn't promising anything and it wasn't denying anything. I'd have to figure this all out though. After a brief conversation with Usagi we established that I was making us lunch for tomorrow and taking it to the park.

I needed advice. I walked down the street just roaming when I reached the hospital. It made me think of mom and dad to look at hospitals and cemeteries. I also looked up to see Nowaki. He used to work at the flower shop. I didn't know him well, but I needed someone who wouldn't judge me harshly anyway. "Nowaki!" I waved and he walked over.

"Hi Misaki! I haven't seen you in awhile. Well, that's a good thing I guess. I'd only see you if you ended up in here for some reason." So...tall.

"You are just the person I was looking for. I didn't really know I was looking for you though. I need some advice. I'm not sure you can help..." Nowaki just smiled. We sat on a bench. "Okay so I really like this guy...but he's my brother's best friend and he's a lot older than I am. I know he must like me...at least a little. I'm not sure if what I am doing is right."

"I actually can help with this! You see my boyfriend is older than me. He's not the friend of anyone I know...but I think I can offer you a valid opinion." I was getting surprised all the time. It didn't seem like there was a straight guy around me. I didn't mind it's just that finding out about it is the shocking part. I wouldn't judge anyone, but it's just people you'd never think.

"Hiro-san is older than me. He's really smart and knows a lot more than I do. I'm always worried that he won't want me anymore because of my inexperience...it hasn't happened yet. I think the most important thing would be trust. Just do whatever your heart feels, and if you brother has a problem than so be it. You might be happier with the person you love than anyone else. I know I am." I could look that dreamy about Usagi. I could love someone that much.

"Hiro-san!" I looked up to see the demon that plagued my dreams. My eyes almost popped out of my head.

"Wait a minute! This is who you were talking about! How!" I was pointing at my evil professor in the rudest way possible. I knew my mouth was hanging open.

"Of course!" Nowaki was beaming.

"He's so mean! He throws books and chalk at me. When I'm having a really bad day he gives me a hard time. I swear he grades my papers harsher than anyone else. It doesn't help I barely got into M in the first place!" Kamijou-demon was confused.

"Oh...Hiro-san is your teacher." Nowaki looked between the two of us. "Hiro-san I was just giving Misaki some love advice. Kamijou-demon seemed to put something together in his head and he was furious.

"What did you say!" He was ready to beat one of us with his bag.

"Relax." I sat down on the bench again. "It's not like I can say anything. I thought Nowaki would be understanding so I told him about the problem I have."

"He likes a guy but it's his brother's best friend." Nowaki always said things cheerfully. Kamijou-demon relaxed a little.

"I never thought..." Was all he mumbled.

"Yeah me either." He glared at me, but didn't do anything. "I'm not sure about what I should do. On top of that I could ruin this guys image..." I heard a familiar sports car and turned my head. "There he is!" I hid halfway behind Nowaki.

"Him!" Kamijou-demon practically screamed.

"Ssshhh!" It was too late Usagi spotted us. "I gotta go!" I took off running back to the apartment. Once inside I locked the door and stood against it. Todo was watching a movie with some girl. They both were staring at me like I was an alien. "I'll explain later. OH MY GOD! He followed me!" I looked out the window.

"Who?" Todo went to the window. "Why is Usami Akihiko here?" The girl on the couch shoved her way to the window.

"He followed me!" I led him right to my apartment. Before he didn't know the number, but now he could find me at any time. There was a soft knock on the door. I opened it slowly. "Usagi-san..."

"You're coming with me for a little bit." I shook my head.

"You know I am a little busy tonight. Watching movies with Todo and...his lovely date." Todo was trying to hide his shocked expression.

"Don't make me come in there." He'd do it for sure.

"Fine, fine." I stepped outside. "I didn't mean to run from you. I was being stupid. My nerves are fried today." Usagi dragged me off and down the street. There was no one around anymore. In the park under a huge tree where I always read manga he kissed me again. At first I was ready to push him away, but then I just seemed to melt. Next thing I knew I was kissing him back. Finally I had to breathe and moved away. I sat down in the long grass. I liked when it wasn't cut regularly. "What am I getting myself into?" I fell back into the grass and looked up at the sky.

Usagi was suddenly over me. I was staring into his eyes and failing at trying to look at anything else. "Decide what you want now." I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I couldn't breathe.

"I need more time. I need to think." I turned my head away.

"I think it's better when you don't." His voice was so close. I could feel it in my whole body.

"Stop." My hands were on his chest, but not pushing. "I just need time."

"I've already been waiting for awhile. I don't think it's fair." I didn't know what I was feeling. It was something I'd never felt. I was scared, but I wanted to rush in at the same time.

"A couple days isn't that long you're just impatient." He was so close I could feel his laughing in my chest.

"You're right about that. How long do you intend to make me wait?" I could feel his hair brushing my cheek and his lips on my neck.

"We need to get to know each other. It might take days, it might take longer." Not here. We couldn't do this here.

"I don't like that answer. Give me an exact time." How was I supposed to know?

"I can't do that. I don't know." It was hard to breathe let alone focus.

"Well then, I'm going to do as I please." How could Nii-chan be friends with someone so...stubborn...

"Not here." I'd have to have my way on something.

Standing in front of Usagi's door I suddenly wanted to turn and run. I had no clue what I was doing. I found myself backing away until I hit a wall. "I can't force you into anything," was all Usagi said. I followed him up the stairs. I was too curious for my own good. "I just want you to stay here." I sat on the edge of the bed and took off my shoes. I lined them up perfectly of the floor. I took off my belt, that would be too uncomfortable. I could see my hands shaking. It was hard to be so helpless.

Usagi pulled me on top of him. "It's up to you." I could feel myself getting closer to his lips. I needed to be outside of myself. I needed to not have control. I needed to do what my body wanted me to do. I didn't know if it was possible for me. I let go. I kissed him on my own. I wasn't scared. I wasn't confused. I knew what I wanted. I just didn't know if it'd all be worth it.


	25. The Visit Part 5

**Author's Note: Gonna draw some Junjou fanart soon. Don't know when I'll be done though. **

Misaki's lips touched mine just barely. His eyes were closed and he seemed frozen, thinking again. His phone started ringing. He stayed where he was, but answered. "Calm down Todo I'm fine. I might not be home tonight. Yeah you can lock up." Misaki sat on the end of the bed and turned off his phone. I hugged Misaki to my chest and rested my chin on his head.

I couldn't see his face. I couldn't guess what he was thinking, but when he put his hands over mine I knew it would be okay. I tilted his head back and looked into his eyes. He didn't look away this time. I knew this would be hard. Every relationship is hard in it's own way, but we were taking on something different. He was risking his family and I was risking my best friend. Pushing that aside I kissed Misaki the way he couldn't kiss me yet.

I unbuttoned Misaki's shirt slowly. I wanted to take my time with everything. I wanted to make it last in his memory. I was the only one he'd be with. I'd make him feel me everywhere. That's what he would get for winning me over. Looking down at Misaki I could feel myself falling more and more. His hands were over his eyes. I could see how red he was in his ears.

He uncovered his eyes slowly. "We shouldn't do this." I felt like I'd been punched. "It's not because I don't want to. I...do. It's just Nii-chan...he's already upset with me."

"Forget about everyone else. What do you want?" I did want to hear, and I also didn't.

"...you." I could barely make out what he said at first.

"I'll make it work." Everything was a blur after that. I could remember each part of the night, but time was lost. Misaki smelled sweet and was more gentle than I'd ever be. He played with my hair and his kisses were kind of like him was gently placing his fingers on my lips. The only thing that made him look older were eyes.

They were overtaken by passion. I didn't really know where he was in his mind, but he finally started to let go. His protests finally stopped even though I could tell they were less than halfhearted to begin with. His hands traveled through my hair. I could feel his hands through my clothes when he touched my back. His kisses started to grow more urgent than mine. My lips traveled all over his body. He couldn't bottle everything up for long. His hands couldn't muffle anything anymore.

Sweaty and tired Misaki pulled me closer to him. I could feel his face in my neck. He was asleep before I could even say anything. I already loved him. What was it about Takahiro and his family? Now I didn't feel anything for Takahiro though. It was something that scared me and excited me at the same time. I pried myself away from Misaki and got in the shower. I always got myself in too deep. I always thought I knew what I was doing.

If Misaki knew I'd do everything he'd say...I don't know what he'd do. His personality was hard to describe. He contradicted himself too much. He wouldn't let himself have wanted he wanted. He was ready to fight me off with all he had, but he hadn't even thought of himself. After my shower I went out. I bought Misaki some clothes to keep hear. He looked cute in my clothes, almost too cute so I couldn't let him wear those. When I returned Misaki was in the kitchen making coffee. He was wrapped in a blanket.

"I got you some clothes. You can take a shower if you want." He sipped his coffee and headed to the bathroom.

"I was going to say thanks until I burned my tongue on coffee." He dropped the blanket in front of the door and walked in the bathroom. I'd never met anyone quite like Misaki before. He could sometimes had the attitude and anger of Hiroki. He said smart things like Takahiro did. He was all himself though.

Misaki sifted through the socks I bought him and frowned. He took out a bright pink pair that was randomly in a pack of white socks I bought. "I never wear white socks." I thought about how much I'd seen him since the first day we met. He never had on white socks.

"Why not?" Misaki was mixing a dangerous amount of sugar into his coffee. Soon it would turn to mush.

"They get dirty easily and the are unexpressive." Misaki had his hair back in little clips that he kept in his pocket at all times. He had weird habits.

"I think you're using too much sugar." I looked at his coffee.

"You don't use any." Misaki swung his feet happily. "It's to your benefit anyway."

"Why is that?" He just smiled.

"No reason." He looked out the window down at the rest of the city. I stood next to him. "I like this view." I suddenly kiss Misaki. I heard his coffee cup break as it hit the floor, but I pulled him closer to me. He was standing on his toes. His socks were soaked through with the puddle of coffee spreading on the floor.


	26. The Visit Part 6

**Author's Note: I slept a lot today. My frequent updates made me lose sleep. I have to write things like right away because I think I will forget them. **

It was a good thing I started cleaning Usagi's floor because Nii-chan dropped in unexpected. He was shocked to see me there. Usagi made up some excuse. Nii-chan was too trusting of people, or maybe he was just too ignorant of people around him. "Well I gotta get going." I left Usagi's house and walked around. I'd have to get a bus to get home, but it was too awkward to stay there now after everything that happened...of course Nii-chan didn't know...

I had to try so hard to be my usual self this morning and then Usagi ruined it with that kiss. Jerk. I'd show him. I didn't need him. I stopped by usual bookstore while waiting for the bus. Usagi had a lot of books out. All of them were best sellers. I couldn't imagine him working hard for some reason. I could imagine him ordering people around.

I didn't really have the extra money, but a bought a couple of his books anyway. I was already absorbed in one by the time I got on the bus. I sat at home and read for hours. Todo wasn't around today anyway. He didn't have off like I did. Todo rarely ever took a day off. I needed one once in awhile. I was weird reading about normal romance especially from someone who I would never think had a normal romance. I could only imagine Usagi forcing people into loving him...only for them to discover that they really did later anyway.

I could feel my heart in my ears. I never thought I could fall in love. I was always afraid I'd be rejected even if I liked someone a little bit...not to mention the fact that I never liked girls. So easily Usagi had me. It was his scent and his voice and his confidence. He knew what it was that he wanted and to think of that being me left me unable to breathe. I never thought I'd feel like such a...girl.

I needed to cook. I had to get things off my mind. I was going to forget what happened last night. I would call him and tell him...and lose everything I could gain if I did. I couldn't stop the tears when they finally spilled over. I didn't want to hand over everything I had to someone, but I couldn't want him all for myself if I didn't. No one ever told me love as so twisted and painful. My heart didn't belong to me anymore.

My phone rang. "Hello, Misaki speaking. Ah, Nii-chan." Nii-chan was stopping by, he wanted to talk. I started to make some tea when I heard a knock. Nii-chan was standing there with Manami. "Come in." Stalker.

Nii-chan looked through the bag of books I just got and the one I was almost half way through already. "Misaki you've never seemed interested in reading before." I looked at all the manga piled everywhere because I wasn't done unpacking yet.

"I usually read manga." He looked around. "So what brings you here?"

"I feel like I'm losing you Misaki. You don't come around." I didn't like to see him so sad.

"Nii-chan, I've only been gone a little over a week." I set the tea down on the table. "Besides I'm too old to be living with you. You're going to need my room for the baby and all. I don't really care where I'm at as long as I'm close enough if you ever need me or I need you."

"Misaki, is there something you need to tell me? I haven't listened these past years enough and now I think you've changed." He's the one who has changed more than I have. My changes have been my limited growth and trying to get over my crippling shyness.

"I guess there are some things. I don't know how you would react though." I sipped my tea. I didn't have to tell him about Usagi. I guess it was right to tell him I didn't exactly like girls. "I need to tell you this so you stop trying to get me a date. I don't even like girls. Not that way." He spit out his tea.

"How long have you known this?" I had the urge to hit him.

"A very long time." Manami just smiled. It was strained, but she smiled.

"Have you...dated anyone?" Did Nii-chan really want to know about my sex life.

"Not until recently." This was so embarrassing. "Don't look around like that. Todo isn't my boyfriend." Nii-chan let out a deep breath. "I thought you might realize it at some point and then years went by...guess it's not so obvious. Why are you asking now?"

"Usagi said I didn't know you very well." Now I knew who to kill.

"Ah, I went out with him earlier this week. Somehow I was able to tell him right away." Maybe because I wanted to know if he was...

"Maybe you sensed he was...like you." So Nii-chan knows about Usagi?

"He told you. I would say it's about time or something, but I have no room to talk." I drunk all my tea and had nowhere else to look. Nii-chan was gripping his cup like he was going to smash it. "Are you mad about this?"

"I think you should see a therapist." What?

"And I think that's not your decision to make. I'll date whoever I want to date wherever I want to date them. I don't think you have a say in who I like or what gender they are." I hadn't meant to get mad, but before I knew it I was furious. "I would appreciate it if you would leave."

"Misaki..." Manami stood up before Nii-chan did. "It's a lot too handle at once."

"Really? I don't understand why he can't handle this. He came home a couple years ago telling me he was getting married when I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. In a matter of months everything changed for me. I could accept all of that. I could accept you. And just because I happen to dates guys and not girls it's "all lot to handle" well some things are harder to handle, but mature people get over it." I'd never once been mean to Manami. She didn't know what to say though because everything I said was true. "If you can't accept I don't want you here Nii-chan." I looked up to see Todo in the doorway.

"Misaki...just call me okay." Nii-chan got up and walked out. Manami looked like she wanted to say something, but just followed him. Call him? Yeah right.

"Sorry about that Todo." I slumped in my chair.

"Misaki, I don't think it matters who or what you do. You're still you." I just wanted to cry in peace.

"Thanks Todo." I made it to my room before I broke down. I dug in my bag for my phone. I wanted to call Usagi but I was crying so much I couldn't even see the screen of my phone. I calmed myself down until I could dial his number.

"Misaki." It felt so great just to hear his voice.

"Usagi-san...what do I do now?"

"Just wait for me." He hung up. I curled up on the bed. I heard the front door shut. Todo must've went out to get away from my obnoxious crying. When I went to look I found a note on the table. He thought I needed some time alone. It was the last thing I needed. When people are sad they don't want to be left alone no matter what they say. I crawled back into bed after unlocking the door. My eyes were dry and there were no tears left but I still felt the pain.

I heard the front door shut. It's funny when you know what a certain person sounds like. Soft footsteps, the flick of a lighter, and a whole different scent. I sat up and there he was. I didn't know what to say. Usagi crushed me with a hug before I could say anything. "No one can make you cry, but me." It was so like him to say that.

"Usagi-san..." I was mad. Why did I need him so much? "I definitely love you, so don't listen to me if I say I don't." His kiss wasn't like yesterday. There was only one goal, to forget. It was something we had in common. To forget everything that happened today and lose ourselves in each other.

I lost myself in his touch, and every time he whispered he loved me I forgot everything else. The one person I thought would understand me no matter what, didn't. It was something that was so heartbreaking it wasn't easy to forget. Usagi was drifting off to sleep probably thinking the same thing. I would help him be happy. I leaned over and kissed him willing him to be happy. "Usagi-san I'm not sure what to do. Nothing is like I expected it to be."

"For once, I don't know what's going on myself. We'll just be this way together. Don't worry I'll protect you." I fell asleep believing that. I don't think I had anyone who would be here whenever I called. Certainly not Nii-chan.


	27. The Visit Part 7 end

**Author's Note: Thank you for the cheerful reviews. **

Misaki would try and act like everything was okay, but there'd be times when he was staring into space or just not eating or sleeping. I could notice when something was wrong. A lot of the time he'd show up at weird hours and sit next to me when I was doing my work. Most the time he would fall asleep and I'd put him in my room. Today I decided I need to talk to Takahiro because Misaki never would again. He was too stubborn to be the first to give in.

Manami and Takahiro recently moved to what would be a dream house in books. White picket fence and everything. I felt weird walking up to the front door. The Takahashi's was plastered on the mailbox. They were missing one thought. I rang the doorbell. Takahiro answered the door and stared at me for awhile. "Come on in."

I sat down in the only place where boxes weren't piled anywhere. "I'm here because of Misaki obviously." Takahiro just nodded. "You need to do something. I know everything is a bit for you to handle during all this moving and everything else. He thought you'd be the one who wouldn't judge him for what he is. He's your brother. Honestly I don't care if you never talk to me again. I'd just find out you weren't really a friend all these years and that would hurt...Misaki has it worse than I do though."

"He's been talking to you? He hasn't called." Takahiro was busy playing with some statue of an angel.

"You really think he's going to call you first? After the insensitive things you said to him. I don't think that's going to happen. He'd rather not talk to you again." Manami was standing in the doorway. "He's accepted everything about you. It would only be common courtesy to do the same for him. If you think you can't don't bother calling him. I'll take care of him if you can't."

"Why would that responsibility fall on you?" Takahiro seemed to be catching on to everything now.

"You already know that, don't you?" If he didn't it clicked.

"I just don't understand why he didn't tell me all of this sooner." Because he knew you might be like this.

"Maybe because he thought he'd get the reaction you gave him." I didn't understand it either. I didn't think Takahiro would ever have any problem with anyone. He must have the mentality of "it'll never happen to me or anyone I know" "That's why I never said anything. I have some work to do." I got up and left quickly. I couldn't sit in there anymore knowing Takahiro was just going to leave Misaki suffering the way he was.

I drove around aimlessly. I ended up at the place where Misaki works. I watched him for awhile. He only seemed at peace when he had to focus on something. He stopped and answered his phone from his reaction it was Takahiro. He was getting angry though. I could see his friend watching. I could tell he was crying even from this far away. I stepped out of the car.

As soon as he saw me he ran over. "Get in." I opened the door for him. "What happened?"

"Nii-chan called me." Well I knew that. "He asked me if I wanted to move in with him and Manami. He told me that if I did he didn't want me to see you anymore." What the hell? "I'm not going to live the way he wants me to. I won't be half alive. That's what will happen if I go with him. I'd rather not see him." I pulled over. I couldn't drive this mad.

"I shouldn't have talked to him. I thought I could talk some sense into him, and he comes up with that stupid idea." I could just rip something apart.

"You tried to talk to him...well I knew something like this would happen if he realized. I told him I wouldn't move in with him and Manami if he didn't even accept me. He wanted me to forget about this "phase" I was going through. I don't get why he can't understand I'm not pretending. It's not my fault I'm this way." I didn't know what to say. Usually I could think of something to make him feel better, but I knew what it was like and I knew I couldn't make him feel better.

I dropped Misaki off at my place. I ordered some food from the restaurant we went to before. When I got home he was watching some anime on the couch wrapped in a blanket. "I didn't even realize I was hungry." Misaki was eating more than should be humanly possible. "I'll probably get really tired if I don't stop eating." He still didn't stop. I didn't understand why some people ate when they were sad, but if it made him feel better.

"Usagi-san you're a lot nicer than I thought you'd be. I thought you hated me when we first met." I wanted to laugh because it was true, but I also felt a little guilty. He thought I was nice...well only for him I guess. "Not that I can say anything. I was the one who didn't even want to be here in the first place. I guess I was pretty rude."

"No. I thought you were funny, and nothing like your brother. I was shocked."

"A lot of people say that." He hugged his knees and stared at the tv. I was getting tired of this heartbroken look. I couldn't do anything about it.

"Stop being so depressed. I don't like seeing you look like that." I turned Misaki so he'd have to look at me. "Takahiro isn't worth your time until he realizes he is wrong for himself." I'd never seen anyone have eyes like his. They told me what he was thinking before he could even say anything. It was nice to know what he needed before he did. I could always rescue him. He fought my kiss, but weakly enough that I knew he didn't want me to stop. Things would work themselves out. He was mine now.

END


	28. Snow Flakes Part 1

**Author's Note: I thought I was finished these, but I love them! **

Misaki

He was walking downtown when I first saw him again. Like me, he was one of the few in the lonely streets. I could hear the bass from some late night club, where all the people who thought they mattered gathered. It was cold. It was so cold clothes didn't help much. I pulled my hat down so my ears could get warm. I could see my breath in front of me. The library had closed two hours ago. Nii-chan still wasn't around. He'd promised to pick me up at nine. It was nearing 11:30. I was crouched in front of the building, hugging my knees. My gloves were almost coated in snow. And there he was, Usami Akihiko. Usagi-san. He was Nii-chan best friend, best man, the only reliable person in his life.

I could see a bag in his hand. It was from the bookstore close to here. I went there sometimes when I was searching for older manga. Like he felt my stare, he looked up. He squinted and then walked over until he was standing in front of me. "Misaki...what are you doing here?" I didn't notice how badly I was shivering until I tried to talk.

"Nii-chan was supposed to pick up at nine." His eyebrows rose. He looked at his watch.

"And you called Takahiro?" I nodded. Maybe ten times already. "Call him and tell him you are coming with me. If he gets the message too late, just tell him you're staying the night. I have a spare room. It's not problem." I slowly got out of my crouching position. My muscles were screaming. I got the answering machine when I called, once again.

"Nii-chan...it's Misaki again...Usagi-san was in the area and I'll be staying with him tonight. Don't worry about not picking me up...it wasn't a problem." I hung up and slid my phone in my pocket.

"It's most certainly a problem." Usagi was pissed.

"Well with the baby and everything...sometimes Nii-chan is busy. I should be able to drive by now anyway..." A glare silenced me.

"Takahiro made an arrangement with you and he broke it. Simple as that." I followed Usagi to his car at a much slower pace than him. I was already short, but now I was almost frozen. The heat blasting as I sat in car. It was a silent ride, mostly because Usagi was filled with rage and I was afraid to talk. When we stopped at his condo I didn't want to get out of the car. I was in the thawing stage, like when I used to play in the snow for too long and the cold became painful. I knew that if I stepped outside again I wouldn't be able to move. Usagi was out of the car already though. He was walking around to my side before I could do anything.

"Come on." He held the door open. Once I felt the breeze I tried to shrink farther into the car. He stared at me for awhile. "What's wrong?" I was shivering worse than I was before.

"It's too cold..." His expression soften. Before I could stop him he had unbuckled my seatbelt and picked me up himself.

"You need a warm bath." I didn't say anything else as he carried me inside. Complaining would be the worst thing to do. Usagi rescued me from the cold and brought me to his house. Flailing about wasn't going to help the situation. It was already awkward enough.

I sat in a bubble bath trying to cool down. Peeling off my clothes had been a challenge. I was the one who insisted I didn't need help once I got my gloves off, but Usagi came back ten minutes later to check on me and I couldn't even unzip my coat. He ended up doing everything for me while I sat there trying not to feel too useless.

The water was going cold when I heard Usagi yelling. I wrapped myself in a warm towel and moved closer to the door. He was talking to Nii-chan. "Honestly Takahiro, just because you have a new family doesn't mean you forget about everyone else. Misaki waited for you two hours! I was afraid he might need to go to the hospital. All because you and Manami made some last minute dinner plans with friends. How could you forget about your brother? Don't bother coming tonight. He's not warm enough to go outside." Usagi sighed. "Yes, it was really that serious. I can't believe you." I heard him slam down the phone, and then I heard a crash. When I peeked out I saw the phone lying disconnected on the ground far from where it was supposed to be. Usagi was sitting on the couch squeezing the bridge of his nose.

I looked down. In front of the door pajamas were folded neatly. They were huge but they were suprisingly warm and comfortable. I didn't bother to roll them up. I walked down the stairs carefully so I wouldn't trip. I was still a bit cold, but I would be fine by tomorrow. Usagi looked up when I came in. "Is there anything I can do to thank you?"

"It's fine." I couldn't settle at that.

"I have to do something." He stared at me for awhile.

"I'm hungry." Something I could do. I made my way to the kitchen. Usagi had tons of food. None of it was even opened. I put together a nice quick meal, but it was tasty. "Isn't this...a lot for just me?" I had already ate. I made everything for him.

"Well you can eat some tomorrow too." Usagi sighed.

"You should eat some of this. You'll feel better." I finally gave in and sat down across from Usagi. We were eating at a weird hour, but it was okay. I knew food would make me tired.

I was lying in Usagi's spare room when I felt incredibly cold and lonely. I crawled to the door and opened it slowly. All the lights were out. He must've went to sleep...

Usagi

I woke up in the middle of the day. Misaki was curled up by my side. It was shocking to say the least. I'd never really experienced anything like that before. I wasn't sure what to do. When I felt his skin, he was still freezing. He must've been so cold he'd decided to come stay with me. It was just noon. I'd slept almost 12 hours. When I heard knocking at the door I realized that's what woke me up. I walked downstairs and opened the door to find a cheerful Takahiro. He was with Manami and the kid. I stepped aside to let them in.

"Where's Misaki?" I looked towards the stairs.

"He climbed into my bed at some point. He still must've been cold." I started making coffee. I was still tired. Probably because I needed to sleep a year to catch up on the sleep I missed.

"I called a couple times..." Takahiro looked and saw the phone still on the floor. "Usagi I'm really sorry about everything. I hope I didn't cause you any trouble."

"The only one you caused trouble was Misaki." I poured some coffee and watched Takahiro out of the corner of my eye. He was sorry...but he still seemed to be taking things lightly. I wanted to yell at him, but then Misaki appeared at the top of the steps. He was rubbing his eyes, and still had my clothes on, which looked ridiculously huge on him.

"Nii-chan..." Misaki stretched. "I should've called you. I'm sorry." I really wanted to punch this kid. He was fine with the situation...it must've happened before.

"I brought you a change of clothes Misaki." Takahiro handed them to him. Misaki went in the bathroom to change.

"Does this happen often?" Takahiro looked shocked by that.

"Once or twice it's happened..." Manami finally spoke up. "Thank you for doing what you did. I'm very sorry." Not sorry enough. How could you go out with friends while someone you should be taking care of was outside freezing?

Misaki walked out of the bathroom looking normal in regular clothes. "Let's get going Misaki." Takahiro was already halfway to the door. He probably had to get back to work.

Misaki walked over to me. "Thank you. I'm sorry for any trouble I've caused." He really was...adorable.


	29. Snow Flakes Part 2

**Author's Note: I love writing these. Request anything if you have an idea of what would be a great way for Usagi and Misaki to meet. Working on a Junjou Romantica AMV. Excited? I am!**

**Misaki**

I walked to my room when I got home and sat on the bed. I touched the small red patches on my feet. I went to the computer and looked up how to treat minor frostbite. I placed a warm blanket over my feet and looked out the window at the snow that was still falling. I drew a heart on the window. I wanted Nii-chan to come apologize. I wanted him to hug me and ask for forgiveness. No matter how much I looked at the door he didn't show up. Tears started to sting my eyes. I got up and put on warm clothing and my boots.

"Where are you going?" Manami was cooking soup. It smelled good, but it didn't feel like it was for me. It was for a family. A family I wasn't part of. The tears spilled over. I stared at her looking at what I would never have again...a mother. "Misaki?" She stepped forward, and I took a step towards the door.

"I need to go." I opened the door and walked out shutting it firmly behind me. I walked slowly and then faster. Before I knew it I was running. I could see my breath in the air in front of me. My lungs burned. I was still tired from everything that happened yesterday. I didn't know where I was going. I pulled my hat over my ears and kept running. A blizzard had started up.

The only sound around was my feet hitting the fresh snow and kicking it up. I could hear cars in the distance, rushing home. I hated that sound. All I could think of my parents hurrying home in the rain. I picked up my pace. By now Manami had talked to Nii-chan. He was either looking for me, or not too worried. Those were the only options with Nii-chan lately. Did Manami understand that I was saying goodbye, that I realized I didn't belong there afterall? No matter how hard I tried I couldn't fit in with Nii-chan's new family.

I didn't know what I was doing until I was repeating hitting the elevator button in the building where Usagi's condo was. It opened up and I stepped in. A man in a suit watched me out of the corner of his eye. I probably looked like hell. He looked a little shocked when I pushed the button for the top floor. I walked to Usagi's door. My lungs were burning. My face hurt. I wanted to die. I didn't notice the man was going to the same place until we were both standing at the door. I put up my hand and knocked. It hurt my hands. They were red. Usagi opened the door. He didn't seem shocked to see me.

"Come on in Misaki. Isaka you too." I sat down to take off my shoes. They seemed frozen. My hands were shaking so badly that I had to sit there awhile. Isaka and Usagi watched me. "What happened Misaki?"

"He never even came to apologize. I figured I'd go for a walk, but then I saw Manami at the stove cooking...I knew I wasn't supposed to be there. I don't belong."

"You walked here!" I looked up at him.

"Ran actually." I untied my boots slowly.

"In that blizzard?" Isaka looked at me like I was crazy. I nodded.

"I didn't know I'd end up here, but I guess I had nowhere else to go anyway." I didn't have many friends.

**Usagi**

Misaki's timing got me out of a stupid party. I sent him to peel off his wet clothes and put on warm ones. I gave him a blanket once he came down the stairs. He sat on the couch bundled up. The TV was on, but he was staring out at the snow. I'd given up on my love for Takahiro awhile ago. He'd changed so much. I was just starting to let go of my fantasies, and planning to stop writing my BL novels, until I met Misaki the other day. When I looked at him my heart started pounding. It was starting again. I was falling all over again even though I swore to myself I wouldn't. I swore to lock my heart away. Here I was again.

I sat down next to Misaki. My body seemed to move on it's own. I already had the person I loved pass me by. Misaki had a life ahead of him, but I wanted that life to be with me. My hand on his leg made him look over. My face was right in front of his. He didn't move. He looked like a deer caught in headlights. "Usagi-san?" It was barely a whisper. I held his wrists tightly and kissed him. He didn't fight, but he didn't kiss back either. "What are you doing?"

"Making you warm." He stared at me.

"I'm fine." His face was red.

"Not your body. Your heart." He stared at me with wide eyes.

"You need it...more than I do." I sat back. This kid...he could see right through me. And so I told Misaki about my feelings for Takahiro. He sat back and listened. He didn't judge me, and by the time I finished he was wiping his eyes. "He really is an idiot. And now you don't love him anymore." I thought of Misaki sitting in the snow. I love you. It's you.


	30. Snow Flakes Part 3

**Author's Note: I've gotten so many message like "where are you" haha. Well I got a job and I'm in school. I quit said job because they treated me like crap and today I have a little time to focus. If I wasn't to anal I might carry my laptop around and get some work done. Than and the fact that lunch is the only time I see my best friend all day this year. So how's things for you guys? **

Usagi

His hands gripped the sheets. They were small. Almost like a girl's hands, but I could see they'd done some hard work. I could imagine Misaki working for the things he wanted in life. His knees were cut up, and still bleeding. He must've fell a couple times on his way here. I held the spray can on disinfectant above his knee, his eyes were close, his nose scrunched up. He was perfect. I knew it would hurt him, but it would also make him better, like so many things in life. I sprayed. He winced. It was over like that. I placed a bandage on top on his knee.

"You don't have to do this. I'm causing you enough trouble..." Not any really. I wouldn't let him know that. Misaki kept showing up when I needed inspiration, so I was welcoming him. "I don't know how I could ever repay you."

"A kiss would suffice." He opened his mouth and then closed it.

"I guess it isn't much to ask." He looked around my room. I hadn't turned the light on in ages, but it was much closer to the bathroom than anything else. I wanted him to be comfortable. Looking around my room I could tell I was holding onto things too much. Things, I'd never had and could never stop pretending to have now. While I was thinking about this, Misaki's lip touched mine. It was softly, like when it first starts to rain.

Misaki

I never thought my first kiss would result in sex. It wasn't something I had ever planned out, but never in my dreams did I think I'd be where I was right now. Nothing in me felt like this wasn't right. It was weird to be thinking something like that when I was here with not only a man, but my brother's friend. Some part of me should be thinking I was doing something wrong, but everything about the situation felt right. Somewhere inside I knew things would come to be this way. It wasn't like I had a crush on Usagi for a long time, but deep down I couldn't hide the attraction. After the wedding we talked on the phone before he talked to Nii-chan, some of our conversations lasted longer then theirs. Unknowingly I had found someone to confide in. Lately, Usagi had been more help than Nii-chan.

It wasn't weird that I felt something for him. What I thought was admiration and a sense of...debt to him, was something else completely. I'd realized only a couple days ago. I had a fire that had started to burn when I was around him. At first it was a nagging suggestion. In the back of my mind I think to myself _you know you want something to happen._ Then it turned into desire. I would lie in bed and when I closed my eyes I would see his face. Then it turned into stomach churning, guilt ensuing need. I needed to be around him, or hear him, or see him. I was taking advantage of the situation. I had an opportunity to calm the fire inside me, at least for a little while and I was taking it.

Usagi

I glanced at Misaki. He was wearing one of my pajama shirts. Aikawa always bought me nice pajamas. I never used them. He didn't have on any pants. He rubbed his feet together while he waited for coffee to finish. I sat at the table in just some pants I picked up off the floor. He seemed embarrassed. Very embarrassed. I couldn't tell why though. He cleared his throat, but didn't say anything. He tried again. "I've never done anything like that before just so you know."

"What? Slept with some random friend of your brother?" He looked a little uncomfortable.

"Slept with anyone." He tried to smooth down his messy hair. He turned back to the coffee maker and waited. I never thought I'd be in this situation. I never thought younger guys were my style, but there was something so pure about Misaki. It was refreshing. I always had people throwing themselves at me...but the last time I really had sex with anyone was college and it wasn't a good memory for either of us. Hiroki was probably all bundled up with his giant by now. I needed to talk to him though.

"I need to make a phone call." I patted Misaki's head. "It's not to your brother so don't worry." I dug around in my room for the cell phone I got recently. I just needed it because I could never call anyone when I was out. It annoyed Aikawa and she bought one for me.

"Hello?" Hiroki sounded annoyed. It was always like someone interrupted an important moment in his life.

"It's me." He sighed.

"You still didn't return the other books. You can't borrow any until you return those." Always books with this guy.

"It's not that." I could here him get up. He went into another room and closed the door.

"What's did you do?" How did he always know?

"It's bad." He sighed. That was my cue to talk. "Takahiro's brother has been coming around here lately. Things are tough for him at home with the baby and all. It didn't take long for me to fall for him. It must be in their genes or something. Except for he's nothing like Takahiro. He's an idiot. He's rude and obnoxious...but he sees right through me."

"Bakahiko! Don't do anything!" I could imagine him chucking a book at me.

"It's too late for that." Hiroki made a strangled sound.

"What do you mean it's too late!" He whispered this.

"I couldn't help myself. He's just...I don't know." Hiroki made a sound between a growl and a sigh.

"I'm coming over." He hung up. Great.


	31. Snow Flakes Part 4

**Author's Note: There has to be a villian in every story. Sadly I get very annoyed with Takahiro so it becomes him. I don't hate him or anything. I just don't get how he doesn't realize what's going on. I can't really imagine him ever being understanding of Misaki's situation considering Usagi is his best friend. I don't think it's being gay it's just being with his best friend. **

Hiroki

I slipped on my shoes quietly. Nowaki was napping on the couch, and I didn't want to wake him for something this stupid. I took the keys down from the wall. I still didn't have my license. Nowaki was the one who wanted a car. I doubted anything would ever happen though, and if it did Akihiko owed me. The snow was steady, unlike earlier. The storm had really picked up and the roads were bad. I was one of the few people driving. I clutched my coat closer and pulled into a parking space. Why was I here at such an ungodly hour? Akihiko never told me to come over, but I knew I needed to beat some sense into him.

I entered the code and walked in. A blast of warm air hit me, and I was glad just this once that he was so excessive sometimes. I kicked my shoes off, not bothering to straighten them out. Wet clothes were strewn through the entry way. I clutched a bag with my pajamas close to my chest. Why did I have to give my clothes to that brat? I sighed and walked further inside. Akihiko was sitting on the couch. I looked passed him and into the kitchen.

He was tiny. I never imagined Akihiko falling for a kid. His hair was sticking out at every angle. He was wearing Akihiko's clothes...this was Misaki. I'd never seen him before today. He looked nothing like Takahiro. He yawned and stretched, the shirt he was wearing rose dangerously high. Akihiko was staring at everything. I couldn't help but feel jealous. What did he have that I didn't? It was the same way I thought about Takahiro. Misaki walked over and handed me a cup of tea, blushing like mad. Then he sat down on the couch opposite from Akihiko.

I felt a little bad for him, but at the same time I was angry. "So what are you doing here? How did you two end up in this situation?"

"This is the second night I came here." He talked quietly at first. He cleared his throat. "Nii-chan has been so busy with Manami and everything else in his life lately that I don't talk to him much. I've been working to save for school and I don't see him often...I tried to talk to him about some things, but he just blew me off. The other day he said he'd pick me up from the library, but he never showed up. He had went out and forgot...that was when Usagi found me."

"He was half frozen." Akihiko sounded pissed.

"It really wasn't that bad..." Misaki was staring down at his lap.

"Don't even Misaki. Don't make me call Takahiro and tell him what I really think of him right now." Misaki bit his lip and nodded.

"Tonight...I don't know what happened. They just seem like a better family without me." He blinked rapidly and wiped his eyes when tears escaped anyway. "I don't mean to cause any trouble. I'll leave as soon as possible." Now I felt bad for him. I wasn't heartless. They were still being stupid.

"Bakahiko! You should know better. He just turned 18. You can't be doing things like this." He stared out the window. He knew he was in the wrong, but I knew that look in his eyes. He wasn't going to stop. Not unless I hurt his feelings. "You barely have a friendship with Takahiro now. What would you do if he found out about this?"


	32. Snow Flakes Part 5

**Author's Note: Winter is coming soon and it's so exciting. **

**Usagi**

"I've been caring less and less about my friendship with Takahiro, Hiroki. You just don't understand the things he's doing. He's forgotten about everything. Even before this I barely got any calls from him anyway. Now that he's married it's just dwindling into nothing." Hiroki had a shocked look on his face. He quietly sipped the coffee Misaki had handed him. Misaki sat with his hands folded in his lap.

"It's true. He's forgotten about things he would never forget about. We used to talk all the time...now I just stay in my room all day." Misaki looked out the window. "I have some money saved. I'll find my own place and leave him alone."

"What about school? How will you get enough money? You're just a kid." Hiroki never talked like that. He never sounded worried. Even he couldn't help but feel bad for Misaki. Those helpless watery emerald eyes, his defeated attitude...it was hard to not pity him.

"I don't know about all that yet, but I'll just have to figure it out won't I? I can't keep being a burden to everyone." Obviously Takahiro had no clue what his brother was going through. He blamed himself for anything that went wrong in Takahiro's life because he was the one who ended up taking it all away. At least that's what he thought. It was always Takahiro's choice to raise Misaki, and it should never be held against him.

"You're going to stay here." Misaki and Hiroki looked up at me. "Takahiro will know where you are. We can figure out everything else with time. The subway is nearby and you can take it to school. When summer comes we'll think about everything else. No objections." Misaki stared at me for a long time and nodded.

"I have to have some way to pay you." Misaki looked around. "I can cook...and clean." I had to at least agree to this or Misaki wouldn't stay.

"Once you're feeling better. Now go get some rest. There's an extra room upstairs." He placed his cup down and walked upstairs quickly. I knew he felt helpless. I knew he was mad at himself. He had to accept my help though.

**Hiroki**

Akihiko was a warmhearted person despite how he looked. I was still surprised he was being this open about everything. What else could be done? It was a shame to see people end up in Misaki's situation. Great kids being thrown away like they were nothing...I thought back to Nowaki lying in bed at home. It must be why I had a sudden soft spot for Misaki. He reminded me of Nowaki. "Akihiko...if you can help this kid out with his grades...I might be able to pull some strings next year." His face brightened. "If you can help him."

"Why are you doing this?" Akihiko looked at me after taking a sip of his coffee.

"It's a damn shame to see someone waste away right in front of your eyes. Something is wrong with him. Something that's not his fault...he's going to see everyone move on while he's running in place and it's not fair. I won't let him drop out of school. We don't even know whether he has potential or not. Nowaki had to drop out and it was very hard for him to go back and fix everything later...I don't want the same trouble for Misaki. Besides...you've already fallen for him anyway. If you love him I have to try my best to help you." It's the first time I'd ever seen him close to crying.

"Thank you."


	33. Snow Flakes Part 6

**Author's Note: I should be punched for forgetting about this story! I love it so much. **

Usagi

Misaki had been sleeping for almost a whole day. Hiroki had stayed with me for a couple hours before he needed to head home, back to the things that were important to him. I'd been waiting this whole time, dodging calls from Aikawa. Finally I had to check on him. I opened the door slowly. Light flooded in through the crack in the door. He was lying on the bed tangled in the sheets and his pajamas. His face looked peaceful while he slept, but his hair was in an array framing his face.

I sat on the edge of the bed running my fingers through his hair. I felt his forehead. It was burning. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me something was wrong, but I ignored it to let him rest. Now I felt bad. He was sick. Whether I wanted to face it or not, I needed help. I'd never been good with these things. I had to start with what I knew. I rushed into the bathroom and wet a rag with cold water. I place this on Misaki's forehead and tried to straighten the covers that were entwined with his pajamas. That was really all I could do on my own.

I took the stairs two at a time. I'd only called Takahiro once to have a one minute conversation. I'd told him we needed to talk face to face as soon as possible. He told me he'd call me back when he had the time. Once he found out Misaki wasn't dead he seemed satisfied enough. I knew he'd be no help to me. I drummed my fingers on the table.

Hiroki

Nowaki had just gotten home and wrapped his arms around me while I was enjoying a particularly good book when the phone rang. I almost snapped it in half until I noticed it was Akihiko. Nowaki's eyes narrowed like they always did when Akihiko was involved. "Hello."

"He's sick." He sounded so panicked I thought he was dying.

"Misaki? Well he was out in the cold for a long time. Give him some medicine." Nowaki leaned in to listen.

"I don't have anything like that. His body feels like it's on fire. What am I supposed to do? I've never had to take care of anyone who was sick." I never thought I'd hear him like this. Akihiko king of keeping it cool.

"Relax." He tried to take a deep breath.

"Hiroki what do I do?" I'd never heard that kind of pleading in his voice. I'd always fantasized about the day he'd need me this bad, but I never thought it would break me. It hurt to the point where it was physical. I never wanted Akihiko to hurt. Nowaki took the phone.

"We'll be there soon." He hung up and jumped up.

"Nowaki are you sure?" He smiled.

"It's my job Hiro-san." I hugged him quickly before slipping my shoes on. I opened the door. The wind blew snow right inside I shut it quickly. "We might want to pack an overnight bag."

Misaki

Every time I woke up my breathing was more shallow than the last time, but each time I woke up I could feel him next to me. First with the rag, which helped douse the fire somewhat. Then when he opened the window which helped a little more. And then he was fixing the blankets, which stopped my arm from feeling so numb. I didn't know how long I'd been sleeping, but I remember trying to call out to Usagi once. I had no voice. During that time he opened the door a couple times. I didn't know how long it took him to realize I was sick but he realized it. He remembered me. I was so happy I thought I might cry.

Nowaki

Misaki reminded me of some of the patients I got. He certainly looked like a little kid. I sat him up and slowly stripped him of his pajamas. They were soaked in sweat. Upon closer inspection I noticed they were Hiro-san's. I changed him into some of the clothes Hiro-san brought along. He seemed a little relieved. His eyes fluttered open. "Hello. Are you feeling any better?" His eyes weren't focusing on me. That wasn't good. "I need you to take some medicine. Can you do that?" His mouth opened a bit, but no sound came out. I had him drink some water and then swallow a couple pills. I tucked the blanket up to his chin. He was looking passed me. In the doorway I saw Usami-san watching the boy with a concerned face. Misaki patted my hand. I took it as a thank you. "He'll be able to eat soon, but I'm going to need to stay to look after him."

"Is it bad?" Hiroki was hardly ever honest when he was concerned. Misaki must be a dear person to Usami-san.

"He had to have been sick for some time...it'll take awhile to recover but he'll be okay." He sighed.

"Good."


	34. Snow Flakes Part 7

**Author's Note: Hello again. **

Hiroki

Misaki silently being sick was much better than what he was going through now. Every time he coughed or sneezed Akihiko almost jumped up to go see if he was okay. I did a couple times too. He sounded horrible. The coughing fits were the worst. He looked like he was going to die. Nowaki was getting more and more concerned. He had work later on, but he seemed afraid to leave. "I'm going to check his temperature." Nowaki took the stairs two at a time. Akihiko seemed a little relieved.

Nowaki came downstairs. "I think it'd be best to take him to the hospital when I go to work. He doesn't seem to be getting much better." My stomach dropped. I could only nod. Akihiko got up and went to the kitchen. I could smell a strong pot of coffee brewing. I didn't know what to think or how to feel. Nowaki was already gathering things he would need, he was always calm in times of crisis. I was wreck. Akihiko wasn't much better, a normal person would think he was fine, but I knew better.

Usagi

I loaded Misaki into the backseat. He just smiled at me. "Don't worry. If I was really sick I'd tell you. I know I can get better." I stopped at Takahiro's. I knew Misaki would need his guardian to be checked in. It pained me that I didn't know more about him. I walked up to the house and pounded on the door. Manami answered in her robe. She crossed her arms over her chest.

"Who is it sweetie?" I could hear Takahiro in the background. He was moving towards the door. He looked up at me. "What are you doing here?"

"Misaki is sick. I need you to come to the hospital to fill some things out." His face changed for a second and then changed back to what it had been. "I'll take you back here once it's done if it's that much trouble." Takahiro narrowed his eyes.

"He's my brother I should be there." I couldn't hold back a snort.

"Like you've been there at all lately. Just get dressed." I turned and walked back to the car. I leaned over the seat and ran my hands through his hair. He was much hotter than he normally was. Takahiro came running out. He slid in the car and turned to look at Misaki. He finally looked worried.

"It's my fault isn't it?" I glanced at him.

"He's only been out in the snow for two nights in a row." I kept my eyes straight ahead.

"What exactly is going on between you two?" He folded his hands in his lap.

"Whatever you're thinking is probably right." He took a deep breath.

"Do you love him?" My hands tightened on the steering wheel. "You do don't you." I didn't answer. I didn't feel I needed to. It wasn't his business.

Takahiro sighed and touched Misaki's head. "I've been stupid Misaki. I'm sorry." He blinked a couple times. I'd only seen Takahiro cry when his parents died, when he didn't know how to pay for Misaki's tuition. It was rare for him to be this upset. Suddenly I couldn't be made at him anymore.

Once in the emergency room I sat with Misaki on my lap. I could feel the heat from him on my neck. I could feel how ragged his breathing was. He slipped his hand into mine. I hugged him closer. Takahiro watched but didn't say anything.


	35. Snow Flakes Part 8

**Author's Note: I've been stuck on the idea for this story for a long time. **

Usagi

I ran my fingers through his hair. It was slick with sweat even though he was given something to calm the fever. Takahiro had went home a couple hours ago. I'd told him it was good of him to come, but he also had a family. I'd call him if anything changed. The truth was I wanted him to myself. I was selfish and I wasn't ashamed. I slid my hand down his arm until I encountered his hand. The only light was the moon. I intertwined my fingers with his. He murmured in his sleep. "Don't worry I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

All I could make out of his face were his lashes, brushing against his cheeks. I kissed him lightly. I forced myself off the bed and into the chair next to it. I rested my face on the bed, holding his hand in both of mine. How could I ever care for someone this much? I would never know. And it seemed to me that Misaki felt something for me...it could be love. My heart raced at the thought. I felt myself falling the way I never wanted to, but the only way I knew how. I'd always relied on fantasy, but at some point that good character trait became a warped flaw. I could no longer see the reality when I was in love and then my heart was shattered...what was left of it anyway. This boy...he seemed different. It seems like he had the will to warm my heart and make me smile. I wasn't sure how to feel about it all.

I wasn't going to lose him. Not because of Takahiro. Not because of anyone.

Misaki

I woke up with my hand in his silver hair. Usagi was sleeping deeply next to me. My I was drenched in sweat and in need of some water. I ran my fingers deeper through his hair. He blinked slowly and then sat up. "Are you okay?"

I cleared my throat. He handed me a cup of water before I could say anything. "Thanks."

"Takahiro was here but I sent him home. I wasn't sure if you'd want to see him." I didn't. "He's very worried."

"I'll talk to him eventually. Thank you for staying with me." I glanced out the window to see snow falling. "I'd rather be home with you. I don't like staying here. It's hard to sleep. Everything is too bright."

He smiled. "Your home is with me?"

"Where else would it be?"


	36. Snow Flakes Part 9 End

Usagi

He sat on the couch wrapped in a blanket, not staring at the TV but through it. He clutched a cup of hot chocolate that was probably lukewarm at this point. I'd asked him how he felt about me. I thought his response would be instantaneous, but he was thinking about it. He suddenly turned to me. "I think I can tell you now." I sat down across from him, too scared to be to close. I realized my error too late because I could only stare at him.

"How I feel about you is...difficult...I'm not sure how to start." He sighed, sipped the hot chocolate, and cleared his throat. "Your existence is very important to me...when no one noticed me it was you who rescued me. And you've been the one taking care of me all this time. So you're not just some person to me. At the same time...I feel like you're something better than me. To me you were the first light I'd seen in awhile...and so it feels like I can't even touch you because I'm at your feet. But I like you. A lot." I didn't know whether to be angry or feel flattered.

"So what does that mean?" He looked out the window.

"I guess that means you can ask me for a favor because right now I owe you." A favor...

"Will you go on a date with me?"

"That's not exactly a favor but if that's what you want...I'll go." Misaki set his cup down on the table. "Not that I don't want to go because I'd like that." I'd finally earned a small smile. Misaki didn't have much reason to smile these days. It was going to be up to me to change that. I was ready for the challenge, but was he ready to open up his heart to me? That's a gamble I was willing to take but my heart was a little less than thrilled. I looked up to find those huge green eyes locked on my face, his expression unreadable.

He suddenly stood up and walked up to me and placed a hand on my cheek. "I've caused you enough trouble so if there's anything you need me to hear...I'll listen." I couldn't look away from those green eyes, shining with curiosity.

"I'm just wondering if things are going to work out they way I want them to." His hand dropped to his side. My cheek felt cold and lonely. He sat next to me.

"Nothing ever really works out the way you want it to. Sometimes that's bad but in some cases...it's a good thing." He patted my hand.

"So if I said I wanted you to stay here as long as possible?" He sighed. It didn't sound unhappy.

"I'd mostly likely agree." I couldn't help the smile forming.

"And you know what that would mean?" He nodded.

"I wouldn't really have it any other way honestly."

"Let's postpone that date." I slung him over my shoulder and took the stairs two at a time.

"W-wait!" His fists hit my back. It felt sort of like a child's.

"Not a chance. One thing you'll learn about me is I'm not very patient."


End file.
